[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

ICE EMPTIES Amazon Warehouse… Prime Orders HALTED as ‘Migrant Workforce’ REMOVED

Trump to ask SCOTUS to reverse E. Jean Carroll sex-abuse verdict

Wary Of Gasoline Shortage, California Pauses Price-Gouging Penalty On Oil Companies

Jewish activist Barbara Lerner Spectre calls for the destruction of European

The Democrats Are Literally Making Stuff Up!

Turn Dead Dirt Into Living Soil With IMO 4

Michael Knowles: Trump & Israel, Candace Owens, and Why Christianity Is Booming Despite the Attacks

Save Canada's Ostrich Farms! Protests Erupt Over Government Tyranny in Canada

Holy SH*T! Poland just admitted the TRUTH about Zelensky and it's not good

Very Alarming Earthquakes Strike As We Enter The Month Of September

Billionaire Airbnb Co-Founder Reveals Why He Abandoned Democrat Party For Trump

Monsoon floods devastate Punjab’s crops, (1.7 billion people) at risk of food crisis

List Of 18 Things That Are Going To Happen Within The Next 40 Days

Pentagon Taps 600 Military Lawyers To Serve As Temporary Immigration Judges For DOJ

81 Actors Who Have Passed Away So Far in 2025

High school is different now

Banks REMOVING CASH and nearing major DISASTER. Prof St Onge.

Did America Pick the Wrong Side in WWII?

Chicago in CHAOS – Mayor Tells Police to Stand Down as Trump Says ENOUGH Murder

Graham Linehan ARRESTED in UK for gender critical tweets - UK COLLAPSE IS IMMINENT

Cash Jordan: 400,000 Illegals ‘Forcibly Returned’ To Mexico… as NYC COLLAPSES

The ChatGPT CEO's Web Of Lies by Vanessa Wingardh

The Fall of the Israel Lobby Has Begun — And This Is Just the Start | Denzel Washington speech

'Statistically Almost Impossible' – 4 AfD Candidates Have Died 'Suddenly And Unexpectedly' Before Key State Election

Israel And The West Set The Stage For Next Round Of Warfare On Iran

Last night in Milan, an 18-year-old girl was beaten and raped while trying to catch a train home

Russia has developed a truly modern system of warfare.

Alberta's Independence and Finances

Daniela Cambone: 100% Loan Losses Loom as Fed Shrinks Balance Sheet-

Tucker Carlson


Religion
See other Religion Articles

Title: Hillbilly at the Pearly Gates
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Dec 20, 2014
Author: Hill Billy
Post Date: 2014-12-20 15:17:53 by Lod
Keywords: None
Views: 337
Comments: 1

An old hillbilly died and was knocking on the pearly gates. St. Peter came out, and the hillbilly said "Sir, I would like to come in."

St. Peter reminded the hillbilly that part of the requirements for living a life that will be rewarded by going to heaven is to have learned basic essentials like reading, writing, and arithmetic, and of course learning the gospel.

The hillbilly said "I understand, St. Peter. I really want to come to heaven. Please,sir."

St. Peter agreed to ask him three questions, and if he could answer those, he could enter heaven.

The first question was: "How many days of the week start with a 'T'"? The second question was: "How many seconds are in a year?" The third question was: "What is God's real name?"

The hillbilly's eyes got wide, and he told St. Peter he'd come back as soon as he had thought about these questions and had answers.

So the hillbilly thought for a while, and returned to St. Peter looking very hopeful. "I have the answers to your questions, Sir!" he said.

St. Peter smiled and asked to hear them.

"Sir, TWO days of the week begin with a 'T'. Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter looked a little surprised, but then smiles and nodded approval and asked for the answer to the second question.

"Sir, I had to think real hard about this question. The answer is TWELVE. There are TWELVE seconds in a year." St. Peter looked at him quizzically and asked him to explain that answer. "Well Sir, there's January Second, February Second, March Second, ...."

St. Peter shook his head again with a smile, then nodded approval and asked for the answer to the third question.

"Oh Sir, this was the easiest question of all for me. I've known this one since I was a little boy!"

St. Peter looked very impressed and was eager to hear the hillbilly's answer to what God's real name was.

"Sir, God's real name is Andy! Andy walks with me through the valley of the shadow of death... Andy comforts me in times of sorrow. Andy loves us all and holds us all in the palm of his hand. Andy...."

St. Peter smiled widely and opened the gate for the hillbilly to enter.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: Lod (#0)

Lod, I'm not as witty as the hillbilly in this story.

Deasy  posted on  2014-12-21   1:35:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest


[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]