An old hillbilly died and was knocking on the pearly gates. St. Peter came out, and the hillbilly said "Sir, I would like to come in." St. Peter reminded the hillbilly that part of the requirements for living a life that will be rewarded by going to heaven is to have learned basic essentials like reading, writing, and arithmetic, and of course learning the gospel.
The hillbilly said "I understand, St. Peter. I really want to come to heaven. Please,sir."
St. Peter agreed to ask him three questions, and if he could answer those, he could enter heaven.
The first question was: "How many days of the week start with a 'T'"? The second question was: "How many seconds are in a year?" The third question was: "What is God's real name?"
The hillbilly's eyes got wide, and he told St. Peter he'd come back as soon as he had thought about these questions and had answers.
So the hillbilly thought for a while, and returned to St. Peter looking very hopeful. "I have the answers to your questions, Sir!" he said.
St. Peter smiled and asked to hear them.
"Sir, TWO days of the week begin with a 'T'. Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked a little surprised, but then smiles and nodded approval and asked for the answer to the second question.
"Sir, I had to think real hard about this question. The answer is TWELVE. There are TWELVE seconds in a year." St. Peter looked at him quizzically and asked him to explain that answer. "Well Sir, there's January Second, February Second, March Second, ...."
St. Peter shook his head again with a smile, then nodded approval and asked for the answer to the third question.
"Oh Sir, this was the easiest question of all for me. I've known this one since I was a little boy!"
St. Peter looked very impressed and was eager to hear the hillbilly's answer to what God's real name was.
"Sir, God's real name is Andy! Andy walks with me through the valley of the shadow of death... Andy comforts me in times of sorrow. Andy loves us all and holds us all in the palm of his hand. Andy...."
St. Peter smiled widely and opened the gate for the hillbilly to enter.