[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Israel knew October 7th was going to happen One of the World’s Richest Men is Moving to America After Trump’s Landslide Victory Taiwan has a better voting system than America Donald Trump on Tuesday nominated veteran, author, and Fox News host Pete Hegseth as the Secretary of Defense "Warrior For Truth & Honesty" - Trump Names John Ratcliffe As CIA Director "The Manhattan Project" Of Our Time: Musk And Vivek Ramaswamy To Head Department Of Government Efficiency (DOGE) Trump, Rogan and French Fries at MsDonalds President Trump wants a 10% cap on all credit card interest rates Senator Ted Cruz STUNS the Entire Congress With This POWERFUL Speech (On the Border) Kash Patel, Trump’s top choice for CIA Director, wants to immediately release classified The £4 supplement that could slash blood pressure - reducing stroke, dementia and heart attack risk RFK Jr. to be involved in oversight of health and agriculture departments under second Trump admin ​​​​​​​"Keep Grinding": Elon Musk's America PAC Will Continue Anti-Soros Push Ahead Of Special Elections & Midterms Johnny B Goode Russian Hypersonic Advances Remain Beyond Western Reach US Preps for War vs China, Dusts-Off Deserted WWII Air Bases Spain on high alert as deadly storms loom: new flood risks in Barcelona, Majorca, Ibiza. U.S. Publication Foreign Policy Says NATO Knows Ukraine Is Losing The War Red Lobster and TGI Fridays are closing. Heres whats moving in The United Nations is again warning of imminent famine in northern Gaza. Israeli Drone Attack Targets Aid Distribution Center in Syria Trump's new Cabinet picks, a Homan tribute, and Lizzo's giant toddler hand [Livestream in progress] Russia and Iran Officially Link Their National Banking Systems "They Just Got Handed Fraudulent Books" - Ed Dowd Confirms Our Warning That Trump Is 'Inheriting A Turd Of An Economy' They're Getting Worse! 😂 'Forever Chemicals' In US Drinking Water: A Growing Problem Ex-Trump aides warn Israeli ministers not to assume hell back annexation in 2nd term Netanyahu seeks to delay taking the stand, citing lack of time to prepare during war Google inadvertently reveals Kiev regimes aircraft stationed, operating from Poland Taiwan Mulls Massive $15BN Arms Package To Signal Trump It's 'Serious' About Defense

Miscellaneous
See other Miscellaneous Articles

Title: My Wife is Missing
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 16, 2015
Author: staff
Post Date: 2015-01-16 23:01:21 by Horse
Keywords: None
Views: 274
Comments: 9

A husband went to the sheriff's department to report that his wife was missing: Husband: - My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant : - What is her height?

Husband: - Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five feet tall.

Sergeant: - Weight?

Husband: - Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: - Color of eyes?

Husband: - Never noticed. Blue, I think.

Sergeant : - Color of hair?

Husband: - Changes a couple times a year . ... . maybe reddish.

Sergeant: - What was she wearing?

Husband: - Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant: - What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: - She went in my truck.

Sergeant: - What kind of truck was it?

Husband: - Brand new 2014 Ford F150 King Ranch 4 X4 with Eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats, DVD with Navigation, 21 channel CB radio , 6 cup holders, 4 power outlets, custom “Bubba” floor mats, trailering package with gold hitch.

Put on special alloy wheels and off road Michelin's. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.

The Sergeant took notes in detail. At this point the husband started tearing up.

Sergeant: - Don't worry.......We’ll find your truck.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

#1. To: Horse (#0)

LOL !

Stoner  posted on  2015-01-16   23:26:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

LOL indeed

Katniss  posted on  2015-01-17   9:39:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

bump this

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2015-01-17   9:42:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck.

She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"

He did just that.

For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Sometimes,no matter how hard you try,there just ain't no pleasing them!

When government gains the power to control the use of private property, it becomes possible for the politically dominant to profit by high commodity prices using government regulation to constrain supply. One merely drives competitors out of business by manipulating the perception of risk to a land use preferred by a democratic majority. - Mark Edward Vande Pol

farmfriend  posted on  2015-01-17   11:37:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Wrong Email Address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the Floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: December 16, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

When government gains the power to control the use of private property, it becomes possible for the politically dominant to profit by high commodity prices using government regulation to constrain supply. One merely drives competitors out of business by manipulating the perception of risk to a land use preferred by a democratic majority. - Mark Edward Vande Pol

farmfriend  posted on  2015-01-17   11:39:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann, listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'

He addressed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?'

Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, it's 'Pillsbury-All-purpose', isn't it?'

...And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.

When government gains the power to control the use of private property, it becomes possible for the politically dominant to profit by high commodity prices using government regulation to constrain supply. One merely drives competitors out of business by manipulating the perception of risk to a land use preferred by a democratic majority. - Mark Edward Vande Pol

farmfriend  posted on  2015-01-17   11:41:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

One of the best - thanks.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2015-01-17   11:42:30 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Like ;)

christine  posted on  2015-01-17   18:30:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

Hilarious!

Deasy  posted on  2015-01-17   20:56:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]