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Title: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Aug 22, 2015
Author: ,
Post Date: 2015-08-22 15:22:17 by christine
Keywords: None
Views: 939
Comments: 26

DONALD TRUMP: All Mexican chickens who wish to cross this road must submit to a complete background check, and full body search.

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCain: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us . BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released e-Chicken 2015, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of e-Chicken 2015. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one??????

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 26.

#1. To: christine (#0)

lol - good grins there, and truth.

Lod  posted on  2015-08-22   15:35:36 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Lod, christine (#1)

Why did the little boy swim across the river on his back?

HAPPY2BME-4UM  posted on  2015-08-22   16:08:00 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#2)

So the alligator gar didn't eat his junk?

So that he could be a true wet-back?

Hell, I don't know; why did he?

Lod  posted on  2015-08-22   16:18:10 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Lod (#3)

He didn't want the fish to get his worm.

HAPPY2BME-4UM  posted on  2015-08-22   16:19:18 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: HAPPY2BME-4UM (#4)

Dang! do I win a pony?

Lod  posted on  2015-08-22   16:28:58 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Lod, X-15, abraxas (#5)

Dang! do I win a pony?

I went to a classic Mustang/Ford show earlier today, the old guy with the 65 GT-350 wasn't willing to trade straight up for my 2001 V6 coupe. He said he's think about trading just the wheels and tires for my whole car. I let him know I would still be getting the better deal in that exchange. It's fun hanging out with all those old guys once in a while.

Dakmar  posted on  2015-08-22   16:53:03 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: Dakmar (#9)

The Shelby Hertz GT-350 is worth $$$$:

 photo 
DSCF15011_zps8257f8a6.jpg

The Shelby GT-350R is worth $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$:

 photo 
DSCF16801_zps96rfsiwb.jpg

X-15  posted on  2015-08-22   18:21:43 ET  (2 images) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#15. To: X-15 (#13)

First car that caught my eye today was an almost flat black Fairlane 500 Cobra about like this one:

If that don't frighten the neighbors I don't know what will :)

Dakmar  posted on  2015-08-22   18:32:30 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#19. To: Dakmar (#15)

Check out this rare Ford, these were all at the SCAT 2015 show:

 photo 
DSCF16891_zpsqajdhlki.jpg

 photo 
DSCF16901_zpshf5m7iba.jpg

X-15  posted on  2015-08-22   18:49:56 ET  (2 images) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#22. To: X-15, Lod (#19)

I am become death

Dakmar  posted on  2015-08-22   19:14:15 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: Dakmar (#22)

It looks FMC, but I haven't a clue what it is...help!

Wow!

Lod  posted on  2015-08-22   21:52:33 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#24. To: Lod (#23)

70 or 71 Torino

Dakmar  posted on  2015-08-23   9:53:11 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#25. To: Dakmar, Lod (#24)

Did you know that you could order a Torino Squire station wagon with a 429CJ?

 photo 
17c62b932ee2b398de7bcca6f98b944d_zpsybeyyunm.jpg

X-15  posted on  2015-08-23   13:33:23 ET  (1 image) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#26. To: X-15, Dakmar, drivers, 4 (#25)

Whoa! that was when you went to the dealership and chose your engine, transmission, differential, and each and every other option that you wanted.

And there were tons of boxes to be checked; it was great.

Lod  posted on  2015-08-23   13:42:32 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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End Trace Mode for Comment # 26.

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