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Title: Extension Cord On Stage Steals Spotlight From Jeb Bush During Campaign Rally
Source:
The Onion
URL Source: http://extension-cord-stage-steals-spotlight-jeb-bush-dur-51343
Published: Sep 18, 2015
Author: TO
Post Date: 2015-09-23 00:54:29 by X-15
Keywords: None
Views: 321
Comments: 1
CONCORD, NH—Emphasizing the allure and appeal of the 30-foot length of electrical power cable that shared the stage with the former Florida governor, sources confirmed that an orange three-pronged extension cord completely stole the spotlight from Jeb Bush during a New Hampshire campaign rally Friday. “Jeb made some interesting points about the need to prioritize national security, but ultimately he was just completely overshadowed by the far more riveting extension cord running along the floor beside him,” said political pundit Chris Wallace, who acknowledged that attendees appeared more energized by the flexible orange cable taped to the stage and noted that the one-time GOP frontrunner repeatedly failed to connect with the audience as effectively as the cord. “Unfortunately for Jeb, no matter what he did throughout the night, he just looked bland and flat compared to that extension cord. He’s not going to want to bring that piece of electrical equipment with him to any more rallies if he wants voters’ attention to stay directed at him.” At press time, the Bush campaign team was rapidly assembling a focus group to learn how the candidate could be more like the extension cord. 
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#1. To: X-15 (#0)
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This is very astute. Inanimate objects have real value, traitor scum like Boosh don't. No extension cord has ever been spliced with a piece of rope, either.
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