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Title: 2006 State of the Union Drinking Game
Source:
Mother Jones
URL Source: http://www.mojones.com/commentary/c ... 006/01/sotu_drinking_game.html
Published: Jan 30, 2006
Author: Will Durst
Post Date: 2006-01-30 17:33:29 by Jethro Tull
Keywords: Drinking, State, Union
Views: 385
Comments: 6
2006 State of the Union Drinking Game By Will Durst January 30, 2006 Resolutions of the Mighty What you need: Rules of the Game 1. Whenever George W uses the phrases: national security, tax relief, activist judges or affordable health care, drink two shots of beer. 2. Whenever George W mentions the tragic events of 911, last person to grab a toothpick, stand and salute must drink three shots of beer. If you stab yourself in forehead with the toothpick, drink two more shots. 3. If George W actually says, “If Al Qaeda is calling you, we want to know why.” first person to finish a whole beer gets to toss Li’l Smokies at any of the others until they finish their beer. Use the toothpicks. 4. If George W makes up a word like “strategerie” or “deteriorize” drink four shots of beer. 5. If George W speaks of Hamas and repeats his earlier statement that “its good to see people are demanding honest leadership,” the first person to stop laughing gets to drink one shot of beer then pummel Suit with empty shot glass. No head shots. 6. Whenever George W talks about bi- partisanship, the last person to grab his throat in a choking motion has to eat 4 Li’l Smokies. 7. If either the Vice President Dick Cheney or First Lady Laura Bush are caught napping, last person to sing “Wake Up Little Susie, Wake Up,” has to drink three shots of beer. 8. Predict the number of applause breaks. Person closest to correct number may then force the other three to drink that number of shots of beer in whatever ratio they wish. 9. Three shots of beer if he mentions New Orleans. Five shots of beer if he mentions Brownie. Two full beers if he mentions Abramoff. 10. Every time Tom DeLay is shown in the audience, take turns throwing Li’l Smokies at the tv. Suit sits out. First face hit doesn’t have to drink two shots of beer. Every time Hillary Clinton is shown in the audience, Suit throws Li’l Smokies at the tv. If he hits her face, everyone else drinks two shots of beer. Use the toothpicks. 11. Whenever George W quotes the Bible, last person to fall to their knees and cry “Hallelujah!” drinks two shots of beer. 12. Whenever George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns drinking shots of beer until the audience sits down. Do it double time if his shoulders shake with silent laughter. Extras: Political comic Will Durst needs a volunteer to wear the suit.
In which our man Durst, awaiting action in Iowa, points the way to a brighter future for the nation's powermongers.
P L U S : 
The Durst Awards
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#1. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
Good Grief, this isn't a drinking game, it's an inflicting a self-induced coma game! Anyone who tries to live up to these rules is going to end up in the emergency ward with alcohol poisoning. You have all been warned...
 | Gold and silver are real money, paper is but a promise. |
#2. To: Elliott Jackalope (#1)
hehehehehehehe.....impossible to stay sober.....
Good Grief, this isn't a drinking game, it's an inflicting a self-induced coma game!
#3. To: Jethro Tull (#0)
Tequila if Bush says guest worker program.
I've already said too much.
#4. To: MUDDOG (#3)
Oh geez, like the game wouldn't be toxic enough as it was. Why not make it simpler and change the rules to "when Bush speaks, shoot yourself in the head" while you're at it?
Tequila if Bush says guest worker program.
| Gold and silver are real money, paper is but a promise. |
#5. To: Elliott Jackalope (#1)
I think the little sausages are supposed to turn it into a puking game.
self-induced coma game
Money problems do not come from a lack of money, but from living an excessive, unrealistic lifestyle
#6. To: purpleman (#5)
Supposed??? Count on it. Nothing like cow noses on BBQ sauce to end the day.
I think the little sausages are supposed to turn it into a puking game.
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