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Miscellaneous See other Miscellaneous Articles Title: How I Planned a Threesome for My Husband's 40th Birthday How I Planned a Threesome for My Husband's 40th Birthday Lucky guy. Most Popular George R.R. Martin Teased a Game of Thrones Prequel at the Emmys This Isn't Funny Anymore. American Democracy Is at Stake. The Falling Man Getty By Pamela Druckerman Sep 19, 2016 The following is an excerpt from "Threesome 101: How I Planned a Ménage à Trois." I tease her about all the planning, telling her that I'm making storyboards and cue cards. I confess that this is all a rather big deal for me; she says the same. For a while, I even forget that I'm trying to get her into bed. We coquettishly call each other "N" and "P." This new mood seems to be what was missing for her. After about an hour, she takes out her calendar, and we schedule the threesome for a week later, the 20th, over lunchtime. When I get home, my husband is waiting up. "I decided to just be myself," I tell him. "Oh, no," he says. I share the good news that we have an actual date. To keep his expectations in check, I mention potential glitches, including the fact that her father is 86. "So? He won't be there, will he?" he says. "You know there's a possible problem," I say. "He might hand in his dinner pail? Drop off his perch? Buy a one-way ticket? The best for us would be if he checked out of the hotel on the 21st, earliest," he says. Related Story Lake Bell Tells Us What It's Like to Shoot a Threesome A week later, N.'s father is fine and I'm getting ready to meet her. "I have a threesome in two hours," I keep boasting to myself. I'm not going to die an idiot. I meet N. at a café for a quick coffee, then we head to my husband's office around the corner. On the way, I insist that we stop at a little food stand, where I buy cheese, sausage, honey, and bread—in case we work up an appetite later. Clearly I'm shopping to calm my nerves. When we get up to my husband's office, it's N. who's nervous. "You're in charge, OK?" she says. Me? We're both relieved when my husband arrives. They introduce themselves. He's immediately very physical with her, which breaks the ice. We have a sort of group hug, and then we agree that he can take off both of our dresses. My first surprise is that women are allowed to wear jewelry in bed. N. even keeps her large hoop earrings on. My second is that a threesome is so, well, sexual. I'd focused so much on the logistics and the catering that I had forgotten we were all going to be naked. My third surprise is that, when you're detail-oriented like me, threesomes are confusing. You quickly lose track of who's at which stage. There's a lot of ambiguous moaning. My husband tells me afterward that he got a little lost, too. Poster Comment: I went to a Toga party once. Nothing happened there, either. :-/ Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: BTP Holdings (#0)
BTP... We are going to have to take a look at your reading material.
WTF? Stop this inane shit. You wear the hoop earrings next time. “The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken
Maybe something DID happen at that toga party, but the menningitis is blocking it out. There could even be video. :p
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