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Title: COMEY PRAISES BRAVE F.B.I. AGENTS WHO HAD TO TOUCH ANTHONY WEINER’S COMPUTER
Source: [None]
URL Source: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/boro ... touch-anthony-weiners-computer
Published: Oct 30, 2016
Author: Andy Borowitz
Post Date: 2016-10-30 12:49:30 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 314
Comments: 6

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—James Comey, the embattled director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, presided over a special ceremony on Friday evening to commend the brave F.B.I. agents who had to touch Anthony Weiner’s computer.

In awarding the commendations to the agents, whom Comey called “the bravest men and women this country has to offer,” the F.B.I. director criticized the political uproar that he said had overshadowed “their selfless acts of heroism.”

“These agents have performed far and beyond the call of duty,” a visibly angry Comey said. “I know we’re eleven days away from an election and tensions are running high, but we shouldn’t let that subtract in any way from what these brave agents did with their own hands.”

“Who among us could look at ourselves in the mirror and say, ‘I have what it takes to touch Anthony Weiner’s computer’?” Comey asked. “I know I sure as hell couldn’t.”

Harland Dorrinson, one of the agents who received the official commendation, acknowledged that touching Weiner’s computer was “the toughest mission I’ve been on” since signing up with the F.B.I. “I spent two weeks undercover in El Chapo’s drug cartel, and this was much scarier,” he said.

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com. MORE

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#1. To: Ada (#0)

Horseshit

sonny  posted on  2016-10-30   19:47:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Ada (#0)

“I spent two weeks undercover in El Chapo’s drug cartel, and this was much scarier,” he said.

Where did you find this article? The Onion? LOL

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2016-10-30   20:03:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: BTP Holdings, sonny (#2)

please note

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com.

It's satire, people.

“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2016-10-30   20:49:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Lod (#3)

It's satire, people.

That's what I said, The Onion! ;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2016-10-31   7:14:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: BTP Holdings, sonny, Lod (#4)

It's satire, people.

That's what I said, The Onion! ;)

Not sure but I think this is also satire. Warning, strong language and dirty pictures.

twitter.com/AnthonyVVeiner

Ada  posted on  2016-11-01   8:49:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Ada (#5)

Not sure but I think this is also satire. Warning, strong language and dirty pictures.

twitter.com/AnthonyVVeiner

There are some things on there that are satire, but some of it not so sure about. ;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2016-11-01   21:08:32 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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