President Trump impeachment lawyer Alan Dershowitz got sent to hell in the first Saturday Night Live skit of 2020 — getting reunited with pedophile Jeffrey Epstein who said he was “just hanging.”
SNL legend Jon Lovitz made a return to the comedy show to play Dershowitz rehearsing his planned impeachment trial strategy for Senators Mitch McConnell and Susan Collins.
After terrifying them that he would compare Trump to his former clients — naming Epstein, O.J. Simpson and Claus von Bulow — Lovitz’s Dershowitz had a heart attack in the cold open and ended up in hell.
“Oh my gosh — look at that, freakin’ Alan Dershowitz!” a red-suited Satan, played by Kate McKinnon, says excitedly, jumping up to give a hug — then pointing out he wasn’t even dying.
“I’m gonna send you back upstairs in a minute. Honestly, I just really wanted to meet you,” McKinnon’s horn-headed Satan gushed.
“I never say this, I’m a huge fan. No seriously, you’re the GOAT,” Satan told him, referring to the greatest of all time, and saying she was “about to fangirl out so hard.”
Satan then interviewed Dershowitz for her podcast — saying she invented the audio shows — where the lawyer said he would represent anyone who is “famous enough to get me on TV.”
“Star Wars” actor Adam Driver — the episode’s host — then walked out as late pedophile Epstein, who Dershowitz had represented, even getting accused of having sex with one of the pedophile’s accusers.
Asked what he was doing there, Driver’s Epstein replied, “Just hanging” — drawing gasps at the quip about the multimillionaire pedophile who was found hanging in his Manhattan federal lockup in August.
When Epstein said it was “too bad I was murdered,” his lawyer seemed to hint at widely-spread conspiracy theories that the pervert was killed by famous friends, replying, “I know. Trust me, I know.”
When Dershowitz said he always assumed the devil was a woman, Driver’s Epstein again drew gasps when he said, “Yeah, to me the devil is a woman my own age.”
Others greeting them in hell included the man who wrote the kids’ song “Baby Shark,” Flo from the Progressive TV ads, and recently killed-off Mr. Peanut, who said he was there because he “took out a lot of first-graders with peanut allergies.”
Even McConnell, played by Beck Bennett and wrapped in white towels, joined them — saying he just used hell as a sauna.
Last out was Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, played by Alex Moffat, as hell’s “IT guy” there to fix the cable in time for the impeachment trial.
“I just want everyone to know that I don’t endorse evil — I just help millions of people share it,” Moffat’s Zuckerberg said.
“Even for me that’s haunting,” Satan replied, ending the skit.