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Title: Lil' Pod, Inbred Nerd
Source:
Me
URL Source: http://Me
Published: Apr 8, 2006
Author: Bob Wallace
Post Date: 2006-04-08 09:57:05 by YertleTurtle
Keywords: None
Views: 246
Comments: 10
Poor John Podhoretz. The Matrix plug in the back of his head is feeding him the most hallucinogenic of Philip K. Dick novels -- the never-written one in which a brilliant, adventureous Poddy is a cross between Dr. Quentin Quest and Race Bannon. I hope that plug never falls out. If it does, reality will come crashing in on Lil' Pod, and he will see himself in all his grotesque, inbred, Betty Friedanesque glory --a near lightspeed DNA collision between Elmer Fudd and Beldar Conehead. That plug is apparently pumping all sorts of foul and most foreign ideas into Lil' Pod's head, such as the one that Americans want to import millions of Mexicans who fly the American flag upside-down on a pole and put the Mexican flag above it. It's Lil' Pod who's upside down, a position I've heard described as "cranio-rectal inversion." If it's permanent, it will surely improve his looks. It certainly won't hurt his brains. Lil'Pod is the offspring of the original Poddy, Norman the Senile. Senile Poddy's main claim to fame was putting the make on Jackie Kennedy back in the '60's, then crawling away after she skewered him with the icy eyeball and contempuously asked him, "Just who do you think you are, Mr. Podhoretz?" Somebody who never looked in a mirror, apparently, or else he didn't believe what they all told him -- that here was a man, no matter what his age, who always looked like an old geezer who should have a stogie in his mouth, wear boxer shorts, and back up his Cadillac on the interstate because he missed his exit. Lil' Pod's well on his way to his father's decayed state, and suffers from the same malady: the delusion that people should listen to his opinion, even though he's as ignorant as my pug dog, whose underpowered brains can't tell the difference between a hot dog and a cat turd. In a recent article Lil' Pod (I suspect that nickname applies in more ways than one) whirled his pom-poms in support of totally open borders, claiming it's a good thing for the U.S. because he sees "a vibrant, dynamic, extraordinarily strong and extraordinarily stable country that has dealt successfully with far more pressing domestic problems without losing a beat." See what I mean about that plug in his head? While Lil Pod's father occasionally made sense when he was younger, such as pointing out that the media portray of poor, downtrodden blacks was the exact opposite of their predatory behavior experienced by those in the real world, Lil Pod's accomplishments consist of little more than answering the most obscure of trivia questions on Jeopardy about The Seinfeld Show. That's an example of a mind that sees tiny little twigs and misses the entire forest. Just how enormous is Lil Pod's self-delusion, that he does not know what he is? At the Washington Times the column he wrote for it was read out loud, for its laughter-inducing qualities, in a ritual called Podenfruede. For a long time he was referred to as "John P. Normanson," as in "John Podhoretz, Norman's son." That's just pathetic. And now he completely dismisses as fantasies concerns about the increase in crime and reduction in wages brought by illegal immigrants, ones who are automatically criminals by being here illegally. He also claims the 14 Amendment, which grants automatic birthright citizenship to the children of illegal aliens, is responsible for "a great deal of the advances made in the 20th century by immigrant children." Apparently he thinks all those 89-IQ Mexican grape pickers are working on Ph.Ds in Molecular Biology in their spare time, or that their children are...children who are confused about which flag belongs in what country. No, Lil' Pod, the critics are not living in a fantasy world. You are. The real world is one you don't want to deal with. If Lil' Pod ever ended up in a field picking crops, he's throw his hands up to heaven and wail, "I can't do this work! My butt is too big!" Come on, let's be honest here. Lil' Pod is a hideously inbred nerd, an utter incompetent whose opinion is irrelevant on any issue. Were he not the son of Norman, he'd spend his life watching TV game shows, yelling at the screen, "I know that answer!" and dreaming of being the center square on Hollywood Squares. And probably having nightmares in which the audience laughed at him when the late Paul Lynde made double entendres he didn't understand, while he sat there like an organ-grinder's puzzled monkey who knows something is wrong, but hasn't quite realized someone has stolen his little red cap.
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#7. To: YertleTurtle (#0)
mmmmm..i'm so glad you had this in your archives. ;)
#8. To: christine (#7)
Do you see any similarity between JPod and Norman, except Normam is better-looking?
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