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Title: What Would Esso Do? (Hypothetical scenario)
Source: Tango Foxtrot Papa Productions
URL Source:
Published: Jul 10, 2020
Author: Ld. Cmdr. Esso
Post Date: 2020-07-10 16:46:03 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 17

Local Warlord Raz Hands Out AR-15s To The Citizens Of CHAZ

SCENARIO: Idiot rapper hands Esso an AR-15 varient and instructs Esso to, "Take out the clip." Note: Scenario assumes that the "clip" is full.

See if you can guess what Esso would do next. There will be a quiz after...

Poster Comment:

1. Esso bites tongue and resists the urge to say, "You mean the magazine, asshole?" while visually scanning the trunk of the Tesla for more mags and tries to identify anyone with weapons near him.

2. Esso simultaneously grabs ahold of the mag with his left hand while moving his right index finger up to the magazine release button.

3. Esso pushes mag button, withdraws mag, inspects. Esso would NOT pull back on the charging handle at this point (there's a reason for that).

4. Esso smartly reinserts mag, THEN pulls back the charging handle to insert a live round into the chamber, while sweeping his right thumb in a downward motion on the selector to make sure weapon is in firing condition. (Things will happen fast from now on. Two to three seconds have probably elapsed by this point.

5. Esso shoots rapper center-of-mass, engages closest targets, trying to focus on armed threats. It should be noted that by this time, Esso is really tunnel- visioned and near-deaf by this time, making all later steps theoretical at best.

6. Esso tries to put any spare mags, if any, into the front lower pockets of his Ye Olde tac-vest.

7. Esso expends as many rounds as possible until all rounds are gone or all targets have been neutralized.

8. Esso runs away with empty weapon (it can be used as a club, sort of).

9. Perchance, should Esso survive, he would politely request to President Trump that Kayleigh McEnany be present at the ceremony to give him the Medal of Freedom and for her to put it on him. So, how did you score?

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