SCHIFF FINDS MORE RUSSIAN COLLUSION, PLANS TO TRY FOR IMPEACHMENT 2.0
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September 11, 2020
It’s great that we can finally put the whole Russian collusion hoax behind us and move on. The Democrats would never be foolish enough to try that stunt again. Oh, wait! Here comes Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA) and he’s found some new evidence of new Russian collusion, which means he’s definitely going to have to impeach Trump again before the election. And it looks like Nancy Pelosi, freshly escaped from the salon that set her up, is going to let Schiff run with it. The Democrats are now going to attempt to impeach President Trump again if he wins reelection.
Maybe this is some sort of evil George Soros plot that we haven’t seen through yet: If they can just bore us beyond belief, we won’t notice that the Democrats literally don’t have a presidential campaign running on their side of the fence. It will just be boring fake news scandal after boring fake news scandal, until after the election.
Trump insulted the troops because he didn’t want to get his hair wet. Did 3-year-old Jacob Trump really build that Lego White House replica himself? Russia! Russia! Russia!
Quick: What’s Joe Biden’s exciting campaign slogan?
I’ll give you 50 guesses to try to come up with it. The only catch is that you have to promise not to Google it. It shouldn’t be that hard to come up with a memorable campaign slogan, even if it’s disingenuous.
Cory Booker’s campaign slogan was “We Rise.” Kirsten Gillibrand’s slogan was “Brave Wins.” Tulsi Gabbard’s slogan was, “Lead with Love.” Beto O’Rourke’s slogan was “We’re All in This Together.” Pete Buttigieg’s slogan was “Never Leave Your Buddy’s Behind.” (Okay, I made that last one up.)
I’d bet dollars-to-donuts you can remember Hillary Clinton’s slogan from four years ago but can’t remember Joe Biden’s slogan today any better than he can. It’s just that boring.
Meanwhile, on the Trump side of the aisle:
That’s from the Trump rally in Los Angeles the other day. There’s a lot that you could say about that video. Our side is having all of the fun in this election. We’re having YMCA MAGA dance parties in the streets in southern California. We’re having Trump boat parades in south Florida, Lake of the Ozarks, Boston, San Diego and other areas. Organizers expected 2,000 attendees at a recent Trump rally, only to have 10,000 carloads of people show up.
What have the Democrats got?
Doom and gloom. This awful, irredeemably racist country is the worst place on earth, and can only be fixed if we put them in charge. Pretend that the riots in their cities are mostly peaceful (or Trump’s fault if they’re not mostly peaceful). Stop Orange Hitler!
They now have not one, but two candidates on the ticket who are incapable of speaking coherently for more than 10 seconds. If you ask her a question she’s not expecting, Kamala Harris is so un- coached and possibly un-coachable that she’s like a deer caught in the headlights. She and Beijing Biden aren’t exactly brimming with fun.
And now we have Russian collusion again, possibly followed by another impeachment if Democrats control the House next year. Adam Schiff says a new “whistleblower” complaint from the Acting Under Secretary of the Department of Something-or-Other was submitted. The complaint alleges that the Department of Homeland Security suppressed information about 2020 Russian election interference; that the DHS repeated “Trump lies” about Russia not interfering in the election; and that the DHS is altering intelligence reports so that Adam Schiff can’t get to the bottom of Trump’s ongoing Russian collusion this year.
O… kay…
“This puts our national security at risk,” said Adam Schiff.
Here we go again. Someone please wake me up before the next Trump event, because the Democrats are just… so… darned… boring… Zzzzzzzzz…
Oh, and to spare you from Googling Joe Biden’s campaign slogan, it’s, “Our Best Days Still Lie Ahead.”