The Week’s Most Cloying, Annoying, and Soul-Destroying Headlines Satana Deberry
BEELZEBUB HONORS RBG
If you were a fiction writer trying to come up with a name for a diabolically evil female character, you couldn’t do better than “Satana Deberry.” Indeed, such a name might be attacked by critics as too “on the nose.” I mean, why not just go with Lucyfer Gravedig? But sadly for us all, Satana Deberry isn’t fictional. She’s the real-life newly elected “progressive” Soros-backed DA of Durham, N.C.
And she’s a demon on a mission…to release as many convicted murderers as (in)humanly possible.
Recently, the Princess of Darkness participated in a memorial service for the Cadaverous RBG at Duke Law School’s newly rechristened Wilson Center for Science and Justice (disclaimer: The center deals with neither science nor justice). Opened in 2019, last week the mecca to freeing the guilty was renamed after the family that funded it (the same Wilsons who gave the world the perennially bankrupt Euro Disney). Although the rechristening was planned months in advance, organizers quickly rebranded the ceremony as a memorial to the recently skeletized justice.
Satana spoke at length about how the Wilson Center will prove invaluable to her mission, which she described as running the DA’s office “with truth, fairness, and equity” (ironically, she didn’t mention science and justice). Satana’s Mephistophelian work of late has included securing the release of Gregory Lee, a gentleman of color sentenced to life in 2006 for murdering his 89-year-old white neighbor Lois Cannady during the attempted theft of her Ford Crown Victoria. Satana decided that the time Lee’s already spent in prison is good enough, so she let him go (“life” just don’t mean what it used to).
When Cannady’s family dared to complain, Satana told them that Lee would still have to “live with the responsibility he bears for her death,” and that’s punishment enough.
So in Durham the penalty for cold-blooded murder has been reduced to “sitting in a corner and thinking about what you’ve done.” Hopefully, Lee will dedicate his next old-lady murder to RBG.
Hail Satana!
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