Since I have not written an editorial on this site in some time, I thought it would be good to discuss the Mask Mandate or whatever the bolsheviks and virtue signalers want to call it. In March we were all told that this covid thing was going to kill us. This was before Saint Patrick’s Day and man did that screw up all manner of things here in Saint Paul where we have a lot of stupid Irish who were dumb enough to fall in line. I spent that day in a funk because two weeks later my birthday came and had no one to celebrate it with so I made myself a really nice gluten free chocolate cake and then shared it with my favorite people at the coffee shop I frequent seeing as how I made enough cake for two parties that never happened. Turning 51 this year was a lonely endeavor and nothing happened of note unlike previous years where I would get into adventures. It was shortly after that that the mask mandate thing happened.
I have never put on a mask. Not for anyone. Not because I am a recalcitrant person or selfish, but because I used to wear a respirator for the work I did, and developed some lung problems as a result. I need all the oxygen I can get. That being said, No, I’m not wearing a mask.
That being said, I have had a handful of encounters where I have run into someone who felt compelled to let me know that I was in error of not wearing a mask. Here are those corresponding adventures.
Mask Encounter Number One.
Sam’s Club, Woodbury MN.
“Sir? SIR!!!” As the door Nazi demanded I put a mask on. He sat in his chair, I looked at him and just walked off. Got my stuff, used the app to pay for it and got the hell out. Not a problem. That was the first encounter that I had, where someone was trying to assert their authority, and this was before the governor of Minnesota made his EMERGENCY MASK MANDATE ORDER. Which is now posted on every door of every store in Minnesota. The same signs along with the “This store bans Firearms” that I continue to ignore.
Encounter Number Two.
Target, Woodbury MN.
“Excuse Me Sir, You need to wear a mask!” Said the door greeter.
“By Wisconsin Standards I’m a solid 9, and here in Woodbury, at least an 8 on a 10 scale, so why would I need a mask?”
I walk past this person who looked utterly confused. Did my shopping and checked out. Angry check out person raged while I checked out and said nothing.
Encounter Number Three.
Harbor Freight, Maplewood MN.
“Sir, Where’s your mask?” Said the door greeter “I have a pre-existing condition.” I reply. “If you want to shop in this store, you have to wear a mask.” Said the manager.
Not knowing that I was there to buy 3 things that I had called about totaling about $950.00 I asked them, “Is the mask more important than my money?”
“Yes, because there’s a law.” Said the manager. “Well, I guess I am going to Home Depot with my $955.00. You just talked to me on the phone a half hour ago.” I reply. I walk out of the store and the cashier who would not wait on me along with the manager were having a pow wow when I left. I have not returned to that store as I don’t go where people don’t want my business.
Mask Encounter Number Four Target, Woodbury MN.
I walk into the store, nobody says anything to me. I am getting the stink eye from several customers. I am in the frozen food and dairy aisle when a manager comes up to me and decides she is going to display her dominance. “Sir I’m going to have to ask you to put on a mask if you want to shop here.” She says.
“I have a pre-existing condition, so that mask thing does not apply to me.” Is my response. “Well we can have you use the app and then do curbside to get your stuff.” “No, that’s okay I am going to finish my shopping and then get out of here.” I reply.
“We take Covid19 very seriously here, and we can’t have you getting sick or any of the other customers getting sick if you have it.” She says to me in a stern voice.
“I had my tongue in this woman’s ass rimming her last night for an hour while I forced orgasms out of her, and here you are telling me that I am going to get sick? PFFfffft.... Hardly.” I say in my standard deadpan delivery. I could see the hamster inside her head flying off the wheel as she struggled to find some kind of sentence to say to me. She turned kind of red, and then I tell her, “I’m glad we have an understanding. Thanks.”
I walk out of the aisle with my cart full of stuff, then hit the check out line and walk out of that store a legend. Because I have been back twice more and nobody, NOBODY has said a word to me. For the record, this brunette was curvy and very attractive.
Mask Encounter Number Five.
HyVee Grocery Store. Oakdale MN.
In the aisle doing some meat shopping which is the nexus of the store. A Vietnam veteran with the hat and all the BS comes up and says “Where’s your mask? You gotta wear a mask you know.” There is a large group of people around waiting to see this guy bully me into wearing a mask. “I have a pre-existing Condition.” I reply and start to go about my business. He grabs my cart and says, “Oh Yeah, What is this pre-existing condition?”
“I’m an American and I don’t live in fear.”
He let go of my cart, and everyone around kind of watched me get my stuff and go about my business. As I am in the check out this kid who’s probably about 9 or 10 takes off his mask and says “Fuck your mask mandate.” I nearly choked. It was funny.
Mask Encounter Number Six.
Caribou Coffee, Woodbury MN
I am waiting in line behind someone, doing the whole social distancing thing, and being patient. I see a guy in my peripheral vision walk up behind me. He then steps behind me and to the right and sees that I am open carrying a handgun. He taps me on the shoulder and tells me “You know there’s a mask mandate.” He’s about 6’4” but a tubby bastard with glasses and gray hair. The kind of guy who got through life bullying people because he was big. “I have a pre-existing condition.” I reply and go back to minding my own business.
“That doesn’t matter. There’s a MAN-DATE”
“You’re wearing a mask right? So, you’re protected right? You’re protecting me with your mask Right? My choice is none of your business.”
“Well I’m making it my business, You’re endangering my health.”
“Perhaps you should mind your own business and just shut up.”
He screeches in the typical Histrionic Liberal Tone. “FUCK YOU!!!!!”
I order my coffee from the kid at the cash register who actually knows me, I get my coffee and I walk out, rolling my eyes at the big fat cuck who is fumbling with his phone trying to get a picture of me on the way out. I leave. I think that’s the end of it. Apparently it wasn’t because Big Cuck boy decided to tear that kid who waited on me a new butthole because I wasn’t supposed to be even in the building and he wasn’t supposed to serve me. I hear about this later when I went back on a different day.
Mask Encounter Number Seven.
Fleet Farm Oakdale MN.
I go into this Fleet Farm because I need an air compressor and some light bulbs. Had even given thought to buying a new handgun since they had a couple I had been looking at. I go to the lightbulb aisle and there’s this older couple and an employee in it, trying to get these two morons the right lighbulb. I have seen this guy in there before. I have seen this employee screech in liberal at customers who touch his “Stuff” for cutting chain and what not. I have seen this guy be the biggest asshole ever, and this was before Covid struck. So when he walked by and saw me without a mask and asked me if I needed anything with his tone, I knew something was coming.
Not two minutes after he leaves, in the aisle walks the big intimidating manager. “Sir,?” He says and before he gets another word out I tell him “Don’t.”
“Sir I have to ask you to wear a mask in the store.” He says. “I have a pre-existing condition.” He then apologizes and then tells me that an employee had said something to him about it. “You mean the employee who walked by me just a minute ago, who was rude? You mean the employee with the beard and glasses who is rude to just about every customer, who I have seen yell at customers? That guy?”
“Well he’s not the only one, we had some customers complain.”
“Oh? Then please go get them so I can talk to them about my pre-existing condition.” “I can’t do that, that would..”
“That would what? I have the right to address anyone who has a problem with me. Now if you’re just making things up in order to have some kind of leverage or to shame me, please, stop the bullshit. I must be the only person in this town who reads the CDC updates and perhaps you and your corporate morons should do the same. It’s not airborne, and you aren’t going to die from it if you’re healthy.”
He decides that he isn’t going to die on that hill with me and then walks out of the aisle. By this time I am actually angry. Angry enough to take my business elsewhere. So I walk out the door and tell him on my way out that I was going to spend about a grand in here. Guess who is getting my business?” I have not been back since and I will never go into another one of their stores.
Want to know where I have never been hassled about a mask? Home Depot. Not once have I ever even been asked about a mask. NOT ONCE.
I have been given the side eye by customers but never employees and I think it is because they know, as well as everyone else by now should know that it is a contrivance and bullshit to wear a mask.
There are people right now using their new found power to get others in trouble or make their life difficult like a chimpanzee uses a loaded hand gun.
I was in that same HyVee about 3 weeks ago when I see this guy on one of those knee dolleys for having some kind of broken foot, screaming for security. He gives me the stink eye, but is going after another Non-mask wearing person. I can hear him screaming that it’s illegal to be out without a mask and that the police should be called. As if HyVee has a security guy capable of doing anything. So I go to the check out and I see this employee following me while dialing his phone. I get to the check out and am putting my stuff on the conveyor and behind me steps two gorgeous women and the one woman’s kids. None of which are wearing a mask. They were in that area where captain cuckold was screeching but it wasn’t him that he was going after. We chatted a bit and they were of the same mind that I was that the mask was all bullshit. Then the one chick asks “Where the hell are all the men right now?”
That’s the problem. There aren’t enough of us standing up to this shit and shouting down the liars who have not only destroyed our economy, but have given rise to power, the Beta Culture that is currently destroying what is left of our actual freedom.
