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Title: Concerns Arise Over Jen Psaki's Physical Health After Her Statement That Biden Is 'Hard To Keep Up With'
Source: Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/concern ... -biden-is-hard-to-keep-up-with
Published: Jun 7, 2021
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2021-06-07 16:21:41 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 50
Comments: 5

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Health officials have raised serious concerns about the state of Press Secretary Jen Psaki's health after she revealed in a briefing that she "has trouble keeping up with Biden."

"This is bad-- really, really bad," said health expert Dr. Hans Gundersen to the press. "Biden is in really bad shape. We're not even sure Biden is legally still alive right now, or what exactly is holding him together or animating his limbs and causing sounds to come out of his mouth. It's a total mystery. I have fewer concerns about the health of the possum I ran over in my car this morning than I do with Biden. It's really, really not good. What was I even talking about? Oh yeah-- Psaki. If she's having trouble keeping up with that guy, then she's in serious trouble health-wise."

Several other doctors have come forward, diagnosing Psaki with a host of possible conditions, including chronic fatigue syndrome, actue liver and kidney failure, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis, or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

"Any of these could be the cause of Paski having issues keeping up with Biden," said Gundersen.

Psaki is being urged to check herself into the White House Medical Unit as soon as possible.

"Please Jen! Before it's too late!" said Gundersen.


Poster Comment:

Gawd, I hate that black-eyed bitch.

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#1. To: All (#0)

I seem to be developing a problem with black-eyed bitches.

The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. - Dr. Eldon Tyrell

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)

Esso  posted on  2021-06-07   16:48:12 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: All (#1)

The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. - Dr. Eldon Tyrell

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)

Esso  posted on  2021-06-07   16:52:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: All (#2)

Try Not to Laugh Challenge with Glenn Beck: Joe Biden Talking About Guns Edition

The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. - Dr. Eldon Tyrell

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)

Esso  posted on  2021-06-07   17:20:01 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: All (#3)

Disney Announces New Movie Giving Sympathetic Origin Story To Kamala Harris

BURBANK, CA—After the success of this year's Cruella movie, telling the sympathetic origin story of misunderstood puppy murderer Cruella DeVil, the Walt Disney Company announced today another movie helping us to feel sorry for another iconic villain: Kamala.

To be released next summer, the movie will make the notorious villain and vice president appear in a more sympathetic light. Girls and women everywhere will be inspired by Harris's story, from being a little girl marching with Martin Luther King, Jr. and helping Harriet Tubman on the Underground Railroad, to locking up drug offenders and passing laws to help women murder babies.

"I am woman -- hear me roar -- especially if you're a non-violent drug offender!" Harris cackles over some early footage in the teaser trailer Disney released today. "I'm brilliant, I'm bad, and I'm a little bit creepy in how much I desire authoritarian power over everyone."

The trailer ends with her chilling cackle.

According to sources, in the opening scene of the movie, Harris's mom is murdered by babies, explaining her lifelong mission to make sure no more are born.

https://babylonbee.com/news/disney-announces-new-movie-giving- sympathetic-origin-story-to-kamala-harris

The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. - Dr. Eldon Tyrell

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)

Esso  posted on  2021-06-07   17:49:46 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: All (#4)

#BlackEyes

The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. - Dr. Eldon Tyrell

Godfrey Smith: Mike, I wouldn't worry. Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
My Man Godfrey (1936)

Esso  posted on  2021-06-07   18:29:54 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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