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Title: Taliban Enjoys Deep Belly Laugh
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URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/taliban ... als-left-behind-by-us-military
Published: Aug 17, 2021
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2021-08-17 15:46:03 by Horse
Keywords: None
Views: 62
Over Diversity Training Materials Left Behind By U.S. Military KABUL—According to sources in Afghanistan, the Taliban was having a "deep belly laugh" over the diversity training materials left behind by the U.S. military previously stationed there. Taliban fighters captured books like Antiracist Baby, White Fragility, and The GayBCs and collectively cracked up over the ridiculousness of the gender ideology present in the works. As the American military evacuated quickly with no apparent plan or direction, many top-secret materials were left behind, from battle plans and tactics to books like How to Be an Antiracist and Heather Has Two Mommies. According to sources, after a busy 24 hours conquering all of Afghanistan, the material provided a "much-needed break" and some "well-deserved laughter." "Oh man, this is great stuff, Allah be praised," said one Taliban leader, tears in his eyes, as he read through Pink is for Boys and Jacob's New Dress. "These American fighters thought they stood a chance against us? Pathetic!" "Look at this book -- the Americans think it is praiseworthy for a boy to dress up like a girl! No wonder they couldn't win in a war against us!" At publishing time, the Taliban were kicking themselves after realizing they could have won the war much earlier if they had just called American soldiers by the wrong pronouns. 'Rumors That The Taliban Have Taken Over Are Unfounded,' Says Jen Psaki Wearing Hijab WASHINGTON, D.C.—Many are expressing concerns over how far the Taliban has managed to advance after Press Secretary Jen Psaki gave her latest press conference while wearing an Islamic Hijab. "No, there is nothing to worry about, Alhamdulillah, Allah be praised," said Psaki. "The Taliban poses no danger to the U.S. and they definitely have not advanced as far as Washington, D.C. Everything is fine here." When asked about her new modest religious veil, she responded, "What do you mean? I always wear these! It's sunny out and it keeps the sun off my head. Nothing to worry about!" She then circled back to face Mecca and bowed her head to the ground. The White House also confirmed that the crowd of military-aged males with AK47s playing soccer on the White House lawn was just a fun little bit of performance art and nothing to be concerned over. In other news, D.C. has confirmed that call to prayer will be at 3pm this afternoon and that everyone needs to be on time. 
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