EDENAfter spending the day pulling weeds under the unforgiving rays of the sun, this man felt nothing but regret for having been evicted, along with his wife, by their landlord and made to toil all his days while she experienced the pain of childbirth.
Honey, can you make me a sandwich? the man asked his wife upon entering their dusty hovel. Pulling all those weeds sure builds up an appetite.
Cant you find something delicious in the Garden of Eden? asked his pregnant wife, sprawled out uncomfortably on the crude leather sofa. Oh thats right, its guarded by a Cherubim and a flaming sword.
Im getting the feeling youre blaming me for our current situation, said the husband, as he opened the cupboards to see if there was anything to eat besides briars. Just once, Id like to return home to a warm meal after toiling all my days.
Well, why dont you trade in another rib for Martha Stewart! She motioned at her distended belly, Have you tried cooking while having contractions every ten minutes? I dont think so.
The husband opened his mouth to remind his wife that she had been commanded to hearken unto him. But seeing another contraction coming, he decided to hold her hand and coach her breathing.
Sweetheart, the wife said through quick breathing, The next time a landlord has a rule prohibiting fruit of any kind, promise you wont hearken unto me.
I hear Merrick Garland is going to charge God as a domestic terrorist for violating Hairplugs Hitler's no-eviction decree.