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Title: Biden To Get Face On New Trillion Dollar Bill
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-t ... ce-on-new-trillion-dollar-bill
Published: Mar 23, 2022
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2022-03-23 16:35:15 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 495
Comments: 3
U.S.—The Department of Treasury revealed on Tuesday that President Joe Biden will lend his likeness to a new denomination of American currency: the trillion-dollar bill. The large bill is designed to withstand soaring inflation rates for the foreseeable future. Director Jerome Cash unveiled the new bill from the White House Rose Garden. "Inflation has been a real problem for hard-working Americans. At the treasury, we print money every day to try and make it go away but our printers can only go so fast," said Cash. "The president has solved that problem by helping us craft a ridiculously large bill that will help us hide the problem for a few more months." "Look at me on this money," said President Biden. "You can see my face. Amazing. I did that!" Biden then stared off into space, presumably watching his approval rating sink lower. "Anyways," he said after an excruciating pause. "Look, here's the deal, Jack. This trillion-million-hundo dollar is going to save our country. Americans can't afford to put food on the table but this currency will change all that. Now you can afford bananas!" "President Harris tells me that money can be used to trade for goods and services," he added. Dr. Jill Biden quickly pulled her husband away from the microphone, a skill she has almost perfected. At publishing time, the nation plunged deeper into debt after Biden lost a bill between his couch cushions. 
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#1. To: Esso (#0)
It's going to be an instant collector item -- because they'll probably print only about 50 million of them. That's one for every illegal alien who's already here.
The Zimbabwe 100 Trillion Dollar Note can be had for a measly $389.99. And it is in new condition. ;) "When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke
Hey, that made me just think of something: the US doesn't have to print its own trillion dollar bills; we can just start using Zimbabwe money here. This place already looks like the United States of Zimbabwe anyway.
#2. To: Esso (#0)
a new denomination of American currency: the trillion-dollar bill
#3. To: BTP Holdings (#2)
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