U.S.—As The Babylon Bee faces its fifth day suspended from Twitter, users are increasingly being forced to get their fake news from a different source: CNN. Indeed, sources from within the news organization claim they have seen an increase in engagement and impressions as satire-starved users have been forced to wean themselves off The Babylon Bee and follow CNN instead.
"Wow, we've seen a massive spike in followers!" said an excited Brian Stelter as he obsessively refreshed the official CNN Twitter account. "Dozens have joined in the last few days alone! Dozens!!!"
"Things are really turning around now!"
CNN immediately tried to capitalize on the influx of followers looking for good, comedic fake news by publishing an article on how Joe Biden is doing a great job and does not have dementia, a report on how World War 3 could have a negative effect on trans BIPOC representation in Netflix films, and an in-depth investigation into how many ice cream scoops Trump got as president.
"These guys are hilarious. Way funnier than The Babylon Bee!" wrote one Twitter user in reply to an op-ed saying that gas prices aren't under the president's control and that ultimately they were Trump's fault. Similar responses telling CNN how hilarious they are could be seen under every article they posted during The Bee's time in Twitter jail.
Sadly, the news organization squandered all the goodwill they had garnered as 17 new CNN sex scandals were uncovered today.