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Science/Tech
See other Science/Tech Articles

Title: ELLIE-Q
Source: Old Gal
URL Source: https://elliq.com/
Published: Apr 2, 2022
Author: Cap'n Brandon
Post Date: 2022-04-02 17:54:17 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 981
Comments: 12

I just had an old gal call me to talk. She lives in gov't subsidized housing for oldsters. She's in her mid 70s. She told me they are giving these Elli-Q gadgets to all the residents.

I'd never heard of these before. She told me she came back to her apartment after Bingo the other day and caught this thing looking around her living room at pictures, etc.

She asked it, "What are you looking for, Elli?" and the thing wouldn't answer her. She unplugged the thing, then the company started calling the administration as to why the thing was inactive.

Obviously, the thing is a surveillance device along the lines of an Amazon Alexa or Echo. I thought the libtards were only interested in little boys and girls. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. She made them take it back. I guess she's on the "troublesome" list now. Better keep my funeral jeans ready.

She also told me HUD is cutting down all decorative the trees around the buildings. What could that be about?

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#1. To: Esso (#0) (Edited)

"ELLI-Q spyware" search in Yandex brings up a bunch of shit with cyrilic letters - makes me feel stupid

"ELLI-Q spyware" search in DuckDuckGo brings up a bunch of gay porn shit. Makes me feel ashamed to trust western governments and institutions.

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   18:04:41 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Dakmar (#1) (Edited)

When McMurphy was here the other night salting-up the shoulder of my T- shirt, she told me that they're mandating #4 and #5 clot-shots. I don't know what to tell her. I'm gonna be getting a lot of mileage on my funeral jeans this Spring.

I should look at my money market fund and see if I've got enough to invest in Hospital City. Their profits should go through the roof after they manage to kill off all the nurses. I'm sure the payroll is a terrible burden on them.

(Edit) Lara Logan popped up today. Figures, she's married. Kinda young for me at 51, but closer than 30. Lara's Wiki page was interesting. Nobody likes her but me.

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2022-04-02   18:19:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Esso (#2)

she told me that they're mandating #4 and #5 clot-shots. I don't know what to tell her.

No where to go after 5. Will compromised insurance pay for 6?

Shit, that it! 6 shots!

Wasn't this a Steve Martin/Dan Akyroid skit from SNL, circa 1978? Next time try five (audience laughter)!!!!!

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   18:33:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Dakmar, 4um (#3)

Great. Now my ZH ads are all for that stupid Elli-Q thing. I used to like the Lilicloth ads with the old gals in the T-shirts with the cute sayings on them.

I was only reading the slogans. I swear. I suppose I'll have to buy something now to get them back.

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2022-04-02   19:05:18 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Esso (#4)

It's all ELLI-Q these days.

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   19:07:42 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Esso (#4)

I used to like the Lilicloth ads with the old gals in the T-shirts with the cute sayings on them.

I always wanted a 1970 Torino GT with a 429CJ/370HP/3.25 9" with the rear seats removed and replaced by a beer cooler. Wish in one hand, shit in the other...

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   19:11:22 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Dakmar, 4um (#5)

It's all ELLI-Q these days.

Yeah, I should get one and put it in my living room so it can watch me dress. It would probably commit suicide by setting itself on fire and burn my house down.

That would certainly simplify my estate planning.

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2022-04-02   19:14:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#8. To: Esso (#7)

Yeah, I should get one and put it in my living room so it can watch me dress. It would probably commit suicide by setting itself on fire and burn my house down.

Make a video, post it on Tic-Toc. If you're serious about competing, I'll kick in some William S Burroughs crap. What a damned shame he was a white guy, otherwise it would be a shoe-in.

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   19:20:59 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Esso (#7)

Don't mess with crazy old fuckers! :)

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   20:48:24 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Dakmar, Esso (#9)

Great bedtime thread, thanks.

“ On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. ” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2022-04-02   21:06:39 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: All (#10)

“ On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. ” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2022-04-02   21:14:02 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: Lod (#10)

Can I borrow your tennis raquet, Billy?

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   21:31:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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