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Science/Tech
See other Science/Tech Articles

Title: ELLIE-Q
Source: Old Gal
URL Source: https://elliq.com/
Published: Apr 2, 2022
Author: Cap'n Brandon
Post Date: 2022-04-02 17:54:17 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 1422
Comments: 12

I just had an old gal call me to talk. She lives in gov't subsidized housing for oldsters. She's in her mid 70s. She told me they are giving these Elli-Q gadgets to all the residents.

I'd never heard of these before. She told me she came back to her apartment after Bingo the other day and caught this thing looking around her living room at pictures, etc.

She asked it, "What are you looking for, Elli?" and the thing wouldn't answer her. She unplugged the thing, then the company started calling the administration as to why the thing was inactive.

Obviously, the thing is a surveillance device along the lines of an Amazon Alexa or Echo. I thought the libtards were only interested in little boys and girls. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. She made them take it back. I guess she's on the "troublesome" list now. Better keep my funeral jeans ready.

She also told me HUD is cutting down all decorative the trees around the buildings. What could that be about?

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 11.

#1. To: Esso (#0) (Edited)

"ELLI-Q spyware" search in Yandex brings up a bunch of shit with cyrilic letters - makes me feel stupid

"ELLI-Q spyware" search in DuckDuckGo brings up a bunch of gay porn shit. Makes me feel ashamed to trust western governments and institutions.

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   18:04:41 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Dakmar (#1) (Edited)

When McMurphy was here the other night salting-up the shoulder of my T- shirt, she told me that they're mandating #4 and #5 clot-shots. I don't know what to tell her. I'm gonna be getting a lot of mileage on my funeral jeans this Spring.

I should look at my money market fund and see if I've got enough to invest in Hospital City. Their profits should go through the roof after they manage to kill off all the nurses. I'm sure the payroll is a terrible burden on them.

(Edit) Lara Logan popped up today. Figures, she's married. Kinda young for me at 51, but closer than 30. Lara's Wiki page was interesting. Nobody likes her but me.

Esso  posted on  2022-04-02   18:19:43 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Esso (#2)

she told me that they're mandating #4 and #5 clot-shots. I don't know what to tell her.

No where to go after 5. Will compromised insurance pay for 6?

Shit, that it! 6 shots!

Wasn't this a Steve Martin/Dan Akyroid skit from SNL, circa 1978? Next time try five (audience laughter)!!!!!

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   18:33:29 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Dakmar, 4um (#3)

Great. Now my ZH ads are all for that stupid Elli-Q thing. I used to like the Lilicloth ads with the old gals in the T-shirts with the cute sayings on them.

I was only reading the slogans. I swear. I suppose I'll have to buy something now to get them back.

Esso  posted on  2022-04-02   19:05:18 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Esso (#4)

It's all ELLI-Q these days.

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   19:07:42 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Dakmar, 4um (#5)

It's all ELLI-Q these days.

Yeah, I should get one and put it in my living room so it can watch me dress. It would probably commit suicide by setting itself on fire and burn my house down.

That would certainly simplify my estate planning.

Esso  posted on  2022-04-02   19:14:29 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#9. To: Esso (#7)

Don't mess with crazy old fuckers! :)

Dakmar  posted on  2022-04-02   20:48:24 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: Dakmar, Esso (#9)

Great bedtime thread, thanks.

Lod  posted on  2022-04-02   21:06:39 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: All (#10)

Lod  posted on  2022-04-02   21:14:02 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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