"It is better to die on your feet, then to live on your knees." Emiliano Zapata
"Everybody dies. Die standing up!" Jed Eckhert
“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone. TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy… but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits the bartender comes over, and asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have a beer, too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, the man, and the ostrich come again, and the man says I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender. "Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich.
"That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The bartender asks "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man replies "My second wish was for a chick with long legs."
“ On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. ” ~ H. L. Mencken