WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new report from an inside source at the White House has confirmed that Barack Obama has been running the Biden Administration from inside an Easter Bunny costume for the past two years.
"Oh, yeah, Barry's been climbing into that bunny suit and orchestrating the whole thing all along," said the source on condition of anonymity. "Every policy position, every executive order, all the mandates, the foreign wars—all of that was from the Bunny."
According to the source, the White House gathers in the situation room every morning to hear from the Easter Bunny and get their marching orders. "The Bunny was the only one that could keep Biden's attention," explained our source. "He'd start nodding off at all the officials and executives trying to explain simple concepts to him. But the Bunny always got him clapping and cheering."
During different holidays, Obama sometimes switches into different costumes, such as during Christmas time when he gives orders to the Biden White House dressed as black Santa Claus, and on President's Day when he shows up as black George Washington. "We have a lot of fun here," said the source. "It's not all serious business, crises, and wars. Well, that's most of it. But we have to let our hair down once in a while."
At publishing time, Obama had distracted Biden by telling him he'd hidden a golden egg somewhere on the White House lawn while Obama started three new wars in the Middle East.