[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help] 

Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

This is the America I grew up in. We need to bring it back

MD State Employee may get Arrested by Sheriff for reporting an Illegal Alien to ICE

RFK Jr: DTaP vaccine was found to have link to Autism

FBI Agents found that the Chinese manufactured fake driver’s licenses and shipped them to the U.S. to help Biden...

Love & Real Estate: China’s new romance scam

Huge Democrat shift against Israel stuns CNN

McCarthy Was Right. They Lied About Everything.

How Romans Built Domes

My 7 day suspension on X was lifted today.

They Just Revealed EVERYTHING... [Project 2029]

Trump ACCUSED Of MASS EXECUTING Illegals By DUMPING Them In The Ocean

The Siege (1998)

Trump Admin To BAN Pride Rainbow Crosswalks, DoT Orders ALL Distractions REMOVED

Elon Musk Backing Thomas Massie Against Trump-AIPAC Challenger

Skateboarding Dog

Israel's Plans for Jordan

Daily Vitamin D Supplementation Slows Cellular Aging:

Hepatitis E Virus in Pork

Hospital Executives Arrested After Nurse Convicted of Killing Seven Newborns, Trying to Kill Eight More

The Explosion of Jewish Fatigue Syndrome

Tucker Carlson: RFK Jr's Mission to End Skyrocketing Autism, Declassifying Kennedy Files

Israel has killed 1,000 Palestinians in the West Bank since October 7, 2023

100m Americans live in areas with cancer-causing 'forever chemicals' in their water

Scientists discover cancer-fighting bacteria that "soak up" forever chemicals in the body

Israel limits entry of baby formula in Gaza as infants die of hunger

17 Ways mRNA Shots May CAUSE CANCER, According to Over 100 STUDIES

Report: Pentagon Halts Some Munitions Shipments To Ukraine Over Concerns That US Stockpiles Are Too Low

Locals Fear Demolitions as Israeli Troops Set Up New Base in Syrias Quneitra

Russian forces discover cache of Ukrainian chemical drone munitions FSB

Clarissa Ward: Gaza is what is turning people overseas against the US


Business/Finance
See other Business/Finance Articles

Title: Lobbyists Concerned Over Rising Cost Of Politicians
Source: [None]
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/lobbyis ... ver-rising-cost-of-politicians
Published: May 13, 2022
Author: babylonbee
Post Date: 2022-05-13 08:58:28 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 91

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In increasing numbers, lobbyists say they are not exempt from the rising costs for food, gas, and other necessities. Paying off congressmen is more expensive than ever, lobbyists confirm, due to inflation and economic mismanagement.

“We got comfortable,” confessed Exxon Mobil Lobbyist Flitch Vandersneed. “We thought D.C. would always continue being a wretched hive of graft and corruption where we could buy and sell congressmen for cheap. Now, with inflation and increased competition from China, it can cost millions to buy out a corrupt senator to vote our way on a bill.”

The lobbyist went on to bemoan how a simple “bada-bing, bada-boom, pay the cash, clear the room” job had become unaffordable even for the wealthiest corporations needing to empty a town for a new factory installation.

Other lobbyists joined in and traded stories, recounting “the glory days” when they could buy a local mayor for less than $250,000, a representative for a seat on their board, or a Senator for early access to insider trading stock tips.

“Now, it can cost upwards of $1,000,000 and other unmentionables to buy a President’s son. With inflation, you might even have to buy one of his bad paintings!”

At publishing time, the cost to buy politicians had gone up yet another 2%. Biden has responded by eating chocolate chip ice cream and recruiting a marketing firm to concoct an excuse for the ongoing dollar devaluation other than the “Putin Price Hike,” which has still failed to stick despite the amazing alliteration.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  



[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Sign-in]  [Mail]  [Setup]  [Help]