NEW YORK, NY—Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un arrived at Planned Parenthood’s New York offices Friday on a diplomatic mission to learn from the abortion provider’s legendary methods of manipulating the media and covering up human rights atrocities, sources confirmed.
“In North Korea, we are usually the best at everything,” the ruthless dictator told reporters outside the organization’s offices. “But we have to admit that Planned Parenthood is far better than even the great Democratic People’s Republic of Korea when it comes to spinning, distorting, and pulling strings to cover up their daily trampling of human rights.”
“We’re here to learn from the experts,” he added.
The North Korean delegate reportedly met with leaders at Planned Parenthood, where a panel of public relations professionals demonstrated the organization’s advanced methods of squashing any clear evidence of its brutal, callous slaughtering of human babies the moment it arises.
“So you just get a judge to pull all the damning videos right away, and charge those trying to expose you with felonies? Amazing. We don’t even have that kind of power over the media back in Pyongyang.”
At publishing time, Planned Parenthood spokespeople had shown an impressed Kim Jong-un the organization’s direct hotline to various media outlets like the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Snopes.com, whom they could phone in a moment’s notice to drum up a defense for any leaked videos of their barbaric practices.