Well, it looks like Russia really is shutting off the gas, as I requested. At least, Putin is threatening to do that, and will presumably turn it back on if NATO backs down and surrenders Russia’s part of the Ukraine, and gets Zelensky to sign a paper saying he won’t join NATO.
I just really wish Putin would hire me as an advisor.
Instead of just announcing this, I would have had him film a parody of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where he is announcing this in the form of a song while wearing a Willy Wonka costume at the Gazprom facility and there are midgets swimming in crude oil.
And, if Putin was like “sorry, kid – I’m too cool to dress up like Willy Wonka,” then I’d go to plan B, which would be hiring Arnold Schwarzenegger to reprise his role as Mr. Freeze, and tell everyone in Europe they’re going to “soon join me in my Winter Wonderland.”
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