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Title: White House Hires 'This Is Fine' Dog As New Press Secretary
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkx5WCEguUU92tul-07tEe1bL0_0FBOU2J2
Published: Aug 1, 2022
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2022-08-01 20:44:16 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 142
Comments: 4
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Citing the candidate's qualifications at assuring everyone that everything is fine even when entire rooms are burning down around him, the White House has hired the This Is Fine Dog as its new press secretary. While Karine Jean-Pierre has been doing a "fine" job of deflecting questions and telling everyone things are great when they are clearly not great, the White House said they wanted to make sure their press secretary "just straight-up lies about things being fine 100% of the time." The obvious choice was the This Is Fine Dog of internet meme fame. "Mr. Dog, what about record inflation with no end in sight?" asked Peter Doocy at the This Is Fine Dog's first press conference earlier this afternoon. "What are Americans supposed to do when they can't afford basics like food, housing, and gasoline?" "This is fine," said the This Is Fine Dog in response. He immediately received a standing ovation by the reporters gathered. He raised his paws to settle down the crowd and then said, "This is fine." At publishing time, the This Is Fine Dog was fired after it was discovered he is not a gay woman of color. He has issued a statement assuring everyone this is fine. Poster Comment:
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#1. To: Esso (#0)
Now does the doghouse represent Columbia University? This is very difficult material. “I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs
Despite all my rage, “I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs
That dog is less annoying and better looking than the incumbent.
#2. To: Dakmar (#1)
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”
#3. To: Esso (#2)
I am still just a rat in a cage
#4. To: Esso (#0)
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