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Title: Putin Awards Self Medal Of Freedom For Dropping Gas Prices
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/putin-a ... reedom-for-dropping-gas-prices
Published: Aug 2, 2022
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2022-08-02 22:13:42 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 498
Comments: 11
MOSCOW — After months of singlehandedly raising America's gas prices without any help whatsoever from the Biden administration, Russian President Vladimir Putin has mercifully given Americans a short break by lowering the price at the pump. For his benevolence and valor, he has awarded himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom. "Weakling Joe Biden said all the gas prices are my fault. So when they come down, this is my fault too. You're welcome Americans!" said Putin on state television. "Enjoy 50-cent savings! Putin Price Drop!" Biden's team was quick to clarify that gas prices are only Putin's fault when they go up. "Biden deserves all the credit for this price drop," said gay black Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "That Medal of Freedom isn't even real!" Jean-Pierre then caught one glimpse of a shirtless Putin wearing the medal while riding a bear and instantly turned straight. At publishing time, OPEC confirmed that they were just waiting for Biden to burn through all of America's strategic oil reserves after which they will quadruple oil prices. 
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 3.
#1. To: Esso (#0)
We know the Madrassas in Saudi Arabia are the source of all Islamic fundamentalism in the world. ;)
I don't know that. I just hate all towelheads after being over there years ago. Beirut Remembered - The Marine Barracks Terrorist Attack, 1983
@ ~2:29 I think they meant the largest mobile bomb. The Trinity test precursor was, I think, a 100 ton pile of dynamite or something like that. The bomb that blasted into the BLT was carried in a Mercedes Benz cargo truck. In 1983 there wasn't any rag-tag towelheads with that capability. The Israelis wanted a war. George "Dopey" Bush, managed to about blow the panhandle of Florida off near Eglin AFB blowing windows out as far away as Ft. Walton Beach. The bad guys were unimpressed. They picked up $85 billion of in US armaments and 13 soldiers in the runaway from afgookistan or whatever. TOTAL WIN!
#4. To: All (#3)
And do not forget the Biden administration has TWO foreign policy defeats, Afghanistan and Ukraine. The first targets of the Russians were the biolabs there which had been moved from Ft. Derrick, Maryland. ;)
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/LatestOPEC confirmed that they were just waiting for Biden to burn through all of America's strategic oil reserves after which they will quadruple oil prices.
#2. To: BTP Holdings (#1)
We know the Madrassas in Saudi Arabia are the source of all Islamic fundamentalism in the world.
#3. To: Lod, TommyTheMadArtist, Horse, 4um (#2)
"Was was the largest non-nuclear explosion explosion on the planet"
Replies to Comment # 3.
#7. To: Esso (#3)
TOTAL WIN!
End Trace Mode for Comment # 3.