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Title: After Using FBI To Suppress Son’s Crimes And Raid Political Rival’s Home, Biden Warns Democracy In Danger
Source: [None]
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/after-u ... iden-warns-democracy-in-danger
Published: Sep 3, 2022
Author: BabylonBee.com
Post Date: 2022-09-03 13:11:42 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 372
Comments: 2

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Having politically weaponized federal law enforcement for his own political gain, President Biden has now taken to the airwaves to warn that democracy is in real danger.

"Folks, I'm using the feds as best I can to destroy my political opponents, but let me be clear: I'm going to have to break more laws and seize even more power if I'm going to stop fascism," yelled President Biden, lighted in blood-red and surrounded by soldiers. "I don't care if that means a federal takeover of elections, an overthrow of the judiciary - heck I don't care if I have to use F-15s to carpet bomb every single Republican neighborhood in the country. We will forcibly commandeer every lever of power and communication our nation has - to, you know, defeat fascism."

President Biden went on to call for the expulsion from democratic society anyone who questioned the integrity of an American election. "If you question an election's fairness because our intel communities told media companies to bury damaging stories about me, or because COVID was used as an excuse to illegally change voting practices without legislative input, or because the FBI spied on Trump's campaign after Democrats gave them a bogus dossier - then you have no place in civil society," said Biden. "In fact, while we are at it, if you don't support abortion through nine months, or the genital mutilation of children, you are an enemy of the state. And we will foment violent protests and assassination attempts to intimidate you - to save democracy."

The Democratic National Committee, fresh off donating $40 million to elevate far-right campaigns, was reportedly taken aback by the comments. "Uh, yeah, those candidates we support are totally an existential threat to our nation, we really believe that," said DNC chair Jaime Harrison. "Sure, we gave $40 million to elevate far-right candidates so we could use them as a pretext for seizing more power - but they are definitely the dangerous ones, not us."

After calling Republicans subhuman, evil scum in need of annihilation, Biden then went on to say that America really needs to regain some unity and brotherhood.

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#1. To: Ada (#0)

For satire, this article is scathingly accurate.

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2022-09-04   14:34:14 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Dakmar (#1)

For satire, this article is scathingly accurate.

Truth is stranger than fiction. ;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2022-09-04   18:47:48 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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