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Title: Alex Jones Sentenced To Death
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/alex-jones-sentenced-to-death
Published: Oct 24, 2022
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2022-10-24 15:37:43 by Esso
Keywords: None
Views: 212
Comments: 2
WATERBURY, CT — After several days of hearings, a Connecticut jury has found Alex Jones guilty of defamation and has sentenced him to death. "We the jury find Alex Jones guilty on all counts of defamation and have hereby sentenced him to hang from the neck until he is dead," read the presiding juror. "May God have mercy on his soul." Eyewitnesses say Jones collapsed as the verdict was read. "We understand this is a civil suit, but Alex Jones is so uniquely evil we decided pursuing the death penalty in this case was appropriate," said a lawyer representing the plaintiffs. "The jury also ruled that Jones must pay a sum of infinity dollars, which is good because our legal fee was eleventy-trillion-thousand dollars." Jones's lawyers are submitting an appeal, but legal experts predict the appeal will be immediately dismissed on the grounds of Alex Jones being Alex Jones. The execution is scheduled for next Wednesday. 
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#1. To: Esso (#0)
Two things: one, this has to be a joke. Second, Jones, I will say this again, Demand that you can pick 10 graves, open them up then open the coffins, that will proof that this was a hoax.
#2. To: All (#0)
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”
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