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Title: Nation Unsure Whether To Support Party That Runs Brain-Damaged Candidates Or Party That Loses To Brain-Damaged Candidates
Source: [None]
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/nation- ... es-to-brain-damaged-candidates
Published: Nov 10, 2022
Author: BabylonBee.com
Post Date: 2022-11-10 11:45:07 by Pinguinite
Keywords: None
Views: 52
Comments: 3

U.S. — Americans are doing lots of soul-searching after the midterms. According to reports, many are not sure if they want to be the kind of people who support a party running brain-damaged politicians or a party that loses to brain-damaged politicians.

"I mean, clearly the stroke victim is unfit for office, but if you can't beat him then doesn't that make you unfit for office?" wondered undecided voter Carl Weaver to himself as he saw election results. "And what kind of a party would dare run someone like that? Or dare lose to someone like that? Have they no shame?"

According to Google, searches have spiked since the election for things like "competent, coherent politicians in my state" as well as "what party runs candidates without mental handicaps, while simultaneously being more appealing than someone with a mental handicap?" So far, search results have come back empty, except for those users who live in Florida.

At publishing time, Carl decided he would just take option 3 and vote Independent, but he soon realized that all those candidates are both brain-damaged and unable to beat brain-damaged candidates.

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#1. To: Pinguinite, 4um (#0) (Edited)

The daily stupid... At about 0:45. "75% or two-thirds."

It's 1700 Zulu. The bar is open.

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2022-11-10   12:03:17 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Esso (#1)

Cheers!

“ On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. ” ~ H. L. Mencken

Lod  posted on  2022-11-10   12:14:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Lod (#2)

Cheers!

Yeah, the "75% or two-thirds" thingy tipped the scales.

Reupping up for O'BoingoCare this morning didn't help. Apparently ssa.gov doesn't want me applying until Jan or Feb. That's fine, I had my belly full of goob today.

I don't have to be anywhere until Saturday. It's a birthday party for an itty-bitty baby. She's turning 21 already.

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2022-11-10   12:29:57 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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