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Title: Not The Babylon Bee But Me
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jan 26, 2023
Author: Horse
Post Date: 2023-01-26 16:42:29 by Horse
Keywords: None
Views: 290
Comments: 1

In a joint press conference and Boris Johnson said victory is in sight in the Ukraine. They announced that the Beatles estate has agreed to hand over the plans they had for their Yellow Submarine. Defense Contractor Got Bucks said they can build a fleet of 3 Yellow Submarines to order in 90 days for just $30 billion including an on time bonus. The Russians will quake in their boots when they see Yellow Submarines floating through the air of downtown St Petersburg. "It's a Game Changer. The war is almost over."

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#1. To: Horse, 4um (#0)

babylonbee.com/news/billi...-for-daylight-saving-time

Billions Dead As Doomsday Clock Springs Forward For Daylight Saving Time

CHICAGO, IL — Tragedy struck the world and billions of people suddenly and unexpectedly lost their lives as the iconic Doomsday Clock inadvertently sprung forward for daylight saving time, plunging the earth into unspeakable darkness and ushering in the end of humanity as we knew it.

The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, the bizarrely named nonprofit organization responsible for the Doomsday Clock, issued a statement taking partial responsibility for the horrific gaffe while also placing part of the blame squarely on the nations around the world that stubbornly cling to the utilization of daylight saving time.

"We did make the mistake of programming the tradition of having the clock ‘spring forward' to observe the time change," said President and CEO of the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists Rachel Bronson in the press release. "But none of this would have happened, of course, if most of the industrialized nations of the world would just stop needlessly flipping the clocks forward and backward a couple of times a year. I mean, seriously, why do we even do it anymore?"

The Bulletin's statement largely fell on deaf ears, as nations around the globe continued to report mass casualties that began to occur when the Doomsday Clock suddenly struck midnight. Hospitals were overflowing with victims, cities burned, and riots raged in the streets.

At publishing time, any surviving world leaders were planning to gather at emergency summits in strategic locations to determine the best course of action that would allow them to place the blame for the terrible cataclysm on the shoulders of Donald Trump.

Esso  posted on  2023-01-26   17:02:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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