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National News
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Title: Garland Appoints Special Counsel To Cover Up Biden's Crimes
Source: [None]
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/garland ... nsel-to-cover-up-bidens-crimes
Published: Aug 12, 2023
Author: BabylonBee.com
Post Date: 2023-08-12 10:58:47 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 267
Comments: 5

U.S. — In a press conference today, Attorney General Merrick Garland announced he will be appointing a new special counsel, David C. Weiss, to investigate the Bidens and then cover up all their crimes.

"I have given Mr. Weiss full power and authority to investigate Hunter Biden and the Biden family. We must conduct a thorough investigation so we can know which crimes to sweep under the rug," said Garland. "After a thorough inquiry, Mr. Weiss will be in charge of destroying all evidence, bringing no serious charges, and granting Hunter Biden immunity forever. He is a man of the utmost integrity and I trust him to do this job to the best of his ability."

The new Special Counsel will be given access to all damning evidence of corruption and bribery against the President, which he will retain and then destroy. All remaining witnesses will then be invited to a surprise paddle-boarding party at the President's beach estate.

Former President Trump, who nominated David Weiss to his DA position in Delaware, reacted on Truth Social, saying: "MILKTOAST GARLAND HAS APPOINTED DAVID WEISS AS 'SPECIAL COUNCIL' TO INVESTIGATE LITTLE HUNTER'S CRIMES AND TRUST ME — WEISS IS NOT EVEN THAT SPECIAL. HE'S A PHONY PROSECUTOR WHO'S BEEN HIRED TO TOTALLY LET THE BIDENS GO FREE! SAD!"

At publishing time, President Biden had thanked the Special Counsel for his outstanding service to the nation and wired him some bribe money.

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#1. To: Ada (#0)

Merrick Garland

There was a good reason Merrick Garland was rejected by the Senate for a seat on the Supreme Court. ;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2023-08-12   13:58:45 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: BTP Holdings (#1)

There was a good reason Merrick Garland was rejected by the Senate for a seat on the Supreme Court.

Because he's a twink that diddles young boys?

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2023-08-12   15:17:03 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: Esso (#2) (Edited)

Because he's a twink that diddles young boys?

You must mean like Jeffery Epstein abused underage girls.

When Trump found out he barred him from Mar-A-Lago. ;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2023-08-13   16:42:11 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: BTP Holdings (#3)

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2023-08-13   19:31:08 ET  (1 image) Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#5. To: Esso (#4)

If it was General Admission it would depend which party showed up first. If assigned seating they can all stand.;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2023-08-17   16:36:07 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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