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Title: Military Personnel Seen Wandering Forest Pressing Button On F-35 Key Fob
Source: [None]
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/marines ... est-pressing-button-on-key-fob
Published: Sep 19, 2023
Author: BabylonBee.com
Post Date: 2023-09-19 09:40:51 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 82
Comments: 2

HUGER, SC — A team of Marines was seen trudging through the woods, stopping every 30 feet to wave a key fob around in a 90° arc, say campers at Francis Marion National Forest. The Marines, who traveled in a tactical column, were allegedly on a mission to locate, close with, and recover the F-35 fighter jet that went missing Sunday evening.

"No contact," [redacted] whispered after stopping to listen for the 249th time. Sources confirm the missing F-35 never beeped in response to signals from the key fob, even if the unit leader did that thing where he tried to place it under his chin to use his head as a natural antenna to magnify its wireless range.

The marine rifle team, led by [redacted], has thus far been unable to find [redacted]. "We have [redacted] that cannot fall into the wrong hands," said [redacted].

Questions still surround the disappearance of the advanced fighter jet. Why did the pilot eject from a plane that was clearly not crashing? Why can't they locate it via transponder? Was radar just not being used that day for some reason? No, really, don't those things have GPS on them or something? Where could it have possibly gone? Was it aliens? It was aliens, right?

Officials at the Pentagon could not be reached for comment.

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#1. To: All (#0)

was carrying Epstein's client list

Ada  posted on  2023-09-19   9:42:49 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Ada (#1)

Bad Luck: Military Announces Lost F-35 Was Carrying Epstein Client List

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2023-09-19   9:48:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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