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Title: Nation Has Vague, Distant Memory Of Some Old Rule Where The President Couldn't Just Declare War On Anyone He Wanted
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URL Source: ... eclare-war-on-anyone-he-wanted
Published: Jan 31, 2024
Post Date: 2024-01-31 07:44:15 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 23

U.S. — According to sources, the nation still has a faint, distant memory of some obscure rule where the President couldn't just declare war whenever he wanted on anyone he wanted.

"Yeah, I feel like that was a thing," said one local woman to reporters. "It was, like, in some sort of document they wrote that had rules in it. I'm pretty sure it said the President can't unilaterally dictate that the nation is going to war, right? What was that rule called?"

"Ugh, I can't remember."

Political experts point to Article I, Section 8, Clause 11 of the U.S. Constitution, which points out that Congress alone shall have power to "declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water [...]" but the writing is old fashioned and written in this weird cursive language so it's hard to say for sure what that means. "No one can really say what they were going for when they wrote that," said one legal expert. "I'm not sure what 'Marque and Reprisal' even is. Was that a spy thriller from the '90s?"

Experts later confirmed that it's probably not a big deal so everyone should just not worry about it.

"We will act quickly and decisively to bomb the people who did that thing," said President Biden. "It's ok folks, no worries! Truladshure bizzguzzit!"

At publishing time, the administration had announced the bombing of a terror cell in Tehran which was later confirmed to be a birthday party.

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