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Title: Boeing Proudly Announces It Has Fixed Malfunctioning Whistleblower
Source: [None]
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/boeing- ... d-malfunctioning-whistleblower
Published: Mar 14, 2024
Author: BabylonBee.com
Post Date: 2024-03-14 10:25:42 by Ada
Keywords: None
Views: 181
Comments: 3

ARLINGTON, VA — In response to mounting public criticism of its quality standards, aerospace corporation Boeing proudly announced it has fixed its malfunctioning whistleblower.

The longtime industry leader in commercial aircraft manufacturing had been in hot water following a string of highly publicized malfunctions and accidents involving its planes, leaving the company desperate to find a solution to its problems.

"That should take care of everything," a Boeing spokesman said. "After extensive investigation into the recent engineering and design quality issues, we determined that many of these problems could be traced back to this whistleblower. We are proud to announce that we have, in fact, fixed the whistleblower. Permanently."

Following the decisive action taken to resolve its whistleblower issue, Boeing expressed confidence that it will be smooth sailing moving forward. "We don't foresee any more problems," the spokesman said. "Everyone here at Boeing feels much safer now."

When asked how fixing the whistleblower would solve ongoing issues with the design and assembly of the aircraft, the spokesman offered the following response: "There aren't any more problems. Got it? If you disagree, you can take it up with our newest board member, Hillary Clinton."

At publishing time, the spokesman denied rumors that the company's original plan to fix the whistleblower involved offering him a free flight in an exit row on one of its aircraft.

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#1. To: Ada, 4um (#0)

That's as dark as the old Onion piece about Chrysler discontinuing the use of their "new neckbelts" in cars after decapitating drivers and passengers.

It was hilarious, but they scrubbed the story after people complained.

“The most terrifying force of death comes from the hands of Men who wanted to be left Alone.
TRUE TERROR will arrive at these people’s door, and they will cry, scream, and beg for mercy…
but it will fall upon the deaf ears of the Men who just wanted to be left alone.”

Esso  posted on  2024-03-14   11:00:52 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Ada (#0) (Edited)

Boeing Proudly Announces It Has Fixed Malfunctioning Whistleblower

This story seems odd in that it rings a bell concerning the strange death of Vince Foster in Ft. Marcy Park, Virginia in 1993.

Oh, I must add that Foster and Hillary Clinton both worked at the Rose Law Firm in Little Rock. Rose Law firm filed the patent for the QRS-11 Flight Interrupter chip that was installed in all commercial aircraft in the 1990s so that if a plane was hijacked it could be taken over by remote control ands safely landed.

Exactly how do you think those planes hit the Twin Towers? ;)

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one." Edmund Burke

BTP Holdings  posted on  2024-03-23   19:02:38 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: BTP Holdings (#2)

The song's title refers to an incident in New York City in 1986 in which two then-unknown assailants attacked journalist Dan Rather while repeating "Kenneth, what is the frequency?"

What's the Frequency, Kenneth?

“I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits.” - William S Burroughs

Dakmar  posted on  2024-03-23   19:25:47 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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