See other Religion Articles
Title: Statement by Abu Musab Zarqawi From Islamic Heaven
Source:
JOHN W LILLPOP
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jun 10, 2006
Author: JOHN W LILLPOP
Post Date: 2006-06-10 18:21:48 by alwaysontheright
Keywords: None
Views: 645
Comments: 28
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Statement by Abu Musab Zarqawi From Islamic Heaven (Islamic Heaven---Al -Jazeer, CNN, MSNBC) Brothers and Heirs to the Throne of Heaven, Praise be to Allah! After my arrival here two days ago, I kissed the clouds and thanked Allah for deliverance from the infidel devils lead by that bow-legged, dyslexic Christian cowboy from Texas, GW Bush. I prayed that, God willing, Bush would be forced to spend eternity with Nancy Pelosi in San Francisco, a situation otherwise known as hell.... even without satan or the furnaces. Praise be to Allah! We know that our true God would never punish even the most notorious infidel so brutally. So I faced west and, Allah forgive me, prayed to the infidel's god. God willing, Bush and Ms. Pelosi will be manacled together in San Francisco's Castro District forever. Bush will suffer greatly, God willing, at the hands of tens of thousands of young men that would have been unable to marry under his failed marriage amendment. Praise be to Allah! Brothers, all is good in Islamic Heaven, save one detail. Each and every one of the 72 virgins that greeted me is the spitting image of Helen Thomas, a fiction writer who works in Washington DC, capitol city of the infidels. Pray for me, brothers: These women are virgins, but not by choice! This is NOT what I was expecting as my reward for being blown to smithereens. Praise be to Allah! God willing, your prayers will deliver unto me 72 middle-eastern Muslim women, ages 15- 21, lean but not mean, beautiful and still virgins by choice. Allah speed brothers! Without seductive virgins in my midst, this gig sucks! Praise be to Allah! Your Comrade in Death, Musab Zarqawi, Deceased 
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 16.
#1. To: alwaysontheright (#0)
try writing something that isn't childish and shrill for a change.
Here is my AOTR impression: Nyaa nyaaa Bush and the GOP are God but I can't explain why. Hannity didn't insert that piece of info into my brain. All Democrats worship satan but Rush hasn't slipped me the link to prove this up yet. Nyaa, nyaaa, nyaa. Arn't I a sophisticated commentator? I wonder why everyone laughs at me?
I'm in awe of his masterbating skills. (I hope I spelled that right)
Forgetting how to spell it is far less important than forgetting how to do it.
Forgetting how to do it? LOL Reminds me of one of Clinton's surgeon general folks. Jocquelen Elder---remember he rants and raves about the health benefits of self-gratification? LOL This little old black lady telling all those lily-white Christian boys to 'get it on' with theyselves! God, was that funny!
#23. To: Jethro Tull (#16)
neocon creeps like her are my enemy, can I hold a dollar?
I think I'm in love, man!!! [typed while spewing Dr Pepper all over my keyboard] LOL.
That was her counsel! What a hero to eye doctors all over the world. LOL Thanks JT!
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#4. To: Morgana le Fay (#1)
#8. To: ... (#4)
#11. To: Hmmmmm (#8)
#13. To: Jethro Tull (#11)
Forgetting how to spell it is far less important than forgetting how to do it.
#16. To: alwaysontheright, ALL (#13)
CLICK IT, THEN STROKE IT. THANK YOU.
Replies to Comment # 16. 
#25. To: Jethro Tull (#16)
#27. To: Jethro Tull (#16)
THEN STROKE IT.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 16.