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Title: Statement by Abu Musab Zarqawi From Islamic Heaven
Source:
JOHN W LILLPOP
URL Source: [None]
Published: Jun 10, 2006
Author: JOHN W LILLPOP
Post Date: 2006-06-10 18:21:48 by alwaysontheright
Keywords: None
Views: 665
Comments: 28
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Statement by Abu Musab Zarqawi From Islamic Heaven (Islamic Heaven---Al -Jazeer, CNN, MSNBC) Brothers and Heirs to the Throne of Heaven, Praise be to Allah! After my arrival here two days ago, I kissed the clouds and thanked Allah for deliverance from the infidel devils lead by that bow-legged, dyslexic Christian cowboy from Texas, GW Bush. I prayed that, God willing, Bush would be forced to spend eternity with Nancy Pelosi in San Francisco, a situation otherwise known as hell.... even without satan or the furnaces. Praise be to Allah! We know that our true God would never punish even the most notorious infidel so brutally. So I faced west and, Allah forgive me, prayed to the infidel's god. God willing, Bush and Ms. Pelosi will be manacled together in San Francisco's Castro District forever. Bush will suffer greatly, God willing, at the hands of tens of thousands of young men that would have been unable to marry under his failed marriage amendment. Praise be to Allah! Brothers, all is good in Islamic Heaven, save one detail. Each and every one of the 72 virgins that greeted me is the spitting image of Helen Thomas, a fiction writer who works in Washington DC, capitol city of the infidels. Pray for me, brothers: These women are virgins, but not by choice! This is NOT what I was expecting as my reward for being blown to smithereens. Praise be to Allah! God willing, your prayers will deliver unto me 72 middle-eastern Muslim women, ages 15- 21, lean but not mean, beautiful and still virgins by choice. Allah speed brothers! Without seductive virgins in my midst, this gig sucks! Praise be to Allah! Your Comrade in Death, Musab Zarqawi, Deceased 
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 26.
#3. To: All (#0)
Damn, AOTR, that is FUNNY!
If you hadn't have said this, no one else would have. Everyone else thinks it is idiotic and shrill. But you know that or you wouldn't have jumped in to blow your own pathetic horn.
Everyone else thinks it is idiotic and shrill. But you know that or you wouldn't have jumped in to blow your own pathetic horn. A true humorist realizes perfection is beyong man. AOTR's juvenile brand of humor is oafish disruption, designed to get even with folks who can think and know right from wrong. I bet he's a big fan of Pig-boy Rush Limbaugh.
That is what makes it so DAMN funny! Idiots like you take it seriously and leave those of us who are level-headed rolling with laughter at your stupid replies! LOL!
Your lack of humanity is exceeded only by your stupid arrogance. You're an object of horror, really, a human form with reason fled, while wretched life remains.
Does that mean you disapprove of the post? Or is there a point to your post????
#28. To: alwaysontheright (#26)
Does that mean you disapprove of the post? Or is there a point to your post???? ROTFLOL!! Why don't you think it over for a minute moron. I'm sure the answer will come to you. Everyone else understands what he said - you probably just need twice the time as a normal person.
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#5. To: alwaysontheright (#3)
Damn, AOTR, that is FUNNY!
#9. To: ... (#5)
Damn, AOTR, that is FUNNY! If you hadn't have said this, no one else would have.
#12. To: Zoroaster (#9)
Everyone else thinks it is idiotic and shrill.
#17. To: alwaysontheright (#12)
#26. To: Zoroaster (#17)
Your lack of humanity is exceeded only by your stupid arrogance
Replies to Comment # 26. Your lack of humanity is exceeded only by your stupid arrogance
End Trace Mode for Comment # 26.