LOS ANGELES, CA — At the end of a transcontinental trip, a male passenger was reportedly disappointed that yet another flight he was aboard landed safely without a stewardess frantically asking if anyone could try to land the plane. Greg Blanton was overheard letting out a frustrated sigh as the aircraft rolled slowly to its gate before coming to a stop. According to his friends, Blanton was profoundly dejected after completing yet another flight in which no emergency required a volunteer to attempt a landing.
"Well… there's always next time," Blanton reportedly said as his fellow passengers stood up to deboard the aircraft. "I've been waiting my whole life for that moment. It's bound to happen sooner or later. I've played it in my mind a thousand times — everyone's on a peaceful flight, but a flight attendant bursts into the cabin and screams, ‘Is there anyone who can land this plane?' I've seen it happen on TV shows, so you know it really happens."
When reached for comment, Blanton's wife, Cindy, confirmed his disappointment. "Yeah, he prepares himself for it every time we fly somewhere," she said. "He's convinced it's going to happen, so he always stays ready. Every time we land, he just throws his hands up in the air in disgust and says, ‘Aw, man, not again.' Honestly, part of me is hoping for some type of catastrophe just so he can get it over with and out of his system."
At publishing time, Blanton was reportedly on his way to the bank, where he hoped this would finally be the time someone would burst in with a machine gun and shout for nobody to move, requiring him to be a hero.