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Title: What do you know about sex?
Source:
The Charlotte Observer
URL Source: http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/living/14954958.htm
Published: Jul 4, 2006
Author: By Faye Flam
Post Date: 2006-07-04 19:51:43 by Zipporah
Keywords: None
Views: 314
Comments: 30
For good or evil, The Inquirer's "Carnal Knowledge" column has survived its first year. To commemorate, we're offering a 13-item multiple-choice quiz so you can test your own Carnal Knowledge.
To read the columns this quiz is based on, see the links of links at the right, and another set at the bottom of this page.
1. What does a male honeybee do after he finishes having sex with the queen?
A. He executes a special postcoital "dance."
B. He flies away as quickly as possible so that she won't eat his head.
C. He brags to all his friends.
D. He leaves his penis lodged inside the queen while the rest of his body explodes.
2. Which of the following animals can change sex?
A. French poodles.
B. Transylvanian vampire bats.
C. Clownfish.
D. No animal can change sex without artificial help. Transsexualism is unnatural.
3. Who developed the theory of sexual selection?
A. Charles Darwin.
B. Wilhelm Reich.
C. Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
D. Sigmund Freud.
4. Nobel laureate Hermann Muller proposed which of these as a possible reason sex first evolved in early life forms?
A. Because sex allows you to to avoid sticking your progeny with all your harmful mutations.
B. Because offspring raised by two parents have a better chance of survival.
C. Because it's fun - duh.
5. What do epidemiological studies say about the odds of contracting HIV from oral sex compared with the odds from unprotected penile-vaginal intercourse?
A. The odds are the same. Oral sex is sex and therefore carries the same risks.
B. Oral sex is 10 times riskier.
C. Intercourse is about 10 times riskier.
D. There's no risk associated with oral sex.
6. Why do male chimpanzees have testicles twice the size of human ones?
A. Chimp females mate with multiple males, so only a male who can make lots of sperm stands a decent chance of procreating.
B. The chimp females choose males with larger testicles.
C. Shrinkage.
D. From the Pleistocene onward, human females shunned males with massive, pendulous testicles.
7. The G-spot in women is associated with the female analog of which male part?
A. The penis.
B. The epididymis.
C. The prostate gland.
D. The endoplasmic reticulum.
8. When scientists allow embryos created by white parent mice to intermingle with embryos created by black ones, what results?
A. Black mice, since genes for black fur are dominant.
B. White mice.
C. Black and white striped mice.
D. A bunch of dead cells. Scientists now know that the genetic code sets the identity of an individual at conception. Nothing can survive with two genetic codes.
9. How does the giant squid get his sperm into the female?
A. He sings a "courtship song" to her, then they have intercourse for several hours.
B. He stabs her with his penis and injects sperm under her skin.
C. The much-larger female sneaks up on the male and clasps him with her tentacles until he finishes the job.
D. There's no such thing as a giant squid - they're just an old sailor's myth.
10. If one member of a pair of identical male twins is gay, what are the odds the other is gay too?
A. 100 percent; because they share the same DNA they will also share the "gay gene."
B. The same as the odds in the general population - 2 percent to 5 percent. Scientists disproved the "gay gene" idea a few years ago.
C. 50 percent. This suggests homosexuality has a genetic component, but other factors play into it, too.
11. How do zookeepers and naturalists tell male from female emperor penguins?
A. The males have penis bone.
B. The females are smaller and lack white patches behind their wings.
C. DNA testing, since the sexes look identical, even down there.
D. Males will watch The Three Stooges.
12. Of the thousands of sheep featured in the film "Brokeback Mountain," what percentage of the males were likely to have been exclusively gay?
A. None. Human beings are the only creatures known to perform homosexual acts.
B. 8 percent - enough to cause economic loss for sheep breeders.
C. 100 percent - they're sheep, and will therefore copy whatever the sheep herders are doing. That's why the boss in the movie got so mad at Jack and Enis.
13. (Bonus question) What characteristic distinguishes male from female across all life forms with two sexes?
A. Males are always larger than females.
B. Females are always smarter than males.
C. Females always have bigger gametes (reproductive cells).
D. Males but not females enjoy The Three Stooges.
E. Males always have a Y chromosome.
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#1. To: Zipporah (#0)
Clownfish
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink Quit bogarting that peace, Herbert!
Click here to watch 'Ray-Peterson---Corrina-Corina--- 1961-----------------------------oldies'
I don't ever get any so why would it matter?
"To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can ever fight; and never stop fighting." E.E. Cummings
That was sexiest song I know... :(
Quit bogarting that peace, Herbert!
Quit bogarting that peace, Herbert!
Gray haired steppenwolfs freak me out.
Or is it just me?
Ah gee Dak didnt know you cared ;P
Hmmmmm maybe if you knew more .. it might help?? :P
no steppenwolf, how bout some mudhoney? :)
Quit bogarting that peace, Herbert!
This was my first time to see a dude do a creosote pole dance - more mudhoney, if it's available.
John Kay is the lead singer and he's not gray as of this photo in Norway last year. He's bound to be in his 60s by now, so I'd say he doesn't look half bad when you consider the not-yet-room-temperature Ken Lay was only 64. I just looked it up. John Kay is 62.
Good Steppenwolf find. John Kay has some good genitics going. That, or only
his hair dresser knows for sure. I'm thinking Kenny-boy Lay was given the
hemlock.
Corrina-Corrina. Great song. One of the many melodies in my early study of same.
The Charlotte Observer published this??? The Baptists are going to have a coronary. As for these thirteen questions? Who cares? (Although the 'Brokeback Mountain' one was kind of funny.)
Now, to finish the freaking laundry...
ROTF..........sorry........but that sounds so real and sincere. Just not typical of the male gender.
That's not so bad on a cold winter night, though...
Gawd, loddy........surely you joke!
Yes.....a very nice one.......
I was a sheep producer.........and frankly their B.S. about 8% of rams being queer is just that--bullshit. Where you see young lambs appearing to be mounting is a 'king of the mountain' game; and in adults, homosexuality has been shown to be done when intact males are confined in close quarters--that holds true with many/most animals. To suggest that 80 out of 1000 sheep are queer is hilarious! Just like 10% of the human population is queer. Yeah.......right.....out of 300,000,000 million people, we have 30,000,000 queers! I wouldn't bet the ranch on it.
It's an oldie alright.........and why doncha look where ya pee!
But I don't know when it's coming....
OIC! LOL.
This overestimation came from the Kinsey Report, I believe, which has been discredited in a number of ways. Also during the AIDS epidemic, the "queers" (which IS the first term I heard for this practice, even though at age 10 or so, I had no idea exactly what it meant) decided to really harp on this 10 percent estimate and even ramp it up to 20 percent or so in order to try to get more funding for research into and treatment of the syndrome. I would submit, re post #5 above, that there are far more basically sexually inactive people (maybe not by choice, but that's another story) in our population than there are "queers." That is, unless you consider abstinence from sex "queer" and I suppose in our sex-saturated culture, a lot of people do. Even though I have come to despise the fundamentalists, most especially the Southern Baptists, since they merged with the GOP, I do agree with one of their sayings, "Abstinence works every time it is tried." They came up with this during the whole "safe sex" campaign, which was also a response to the AIDS epidemic.
I agree with you regarding abstinance. IT's my personal opinion that a great many people are concerned about STDs, pregnancy, and one-nighters that lead nowhere, as well as placing a higher value on oneself are reasons for abstaining....and no doubt a few other reasons.
YEP! Can you believe it?? The questions are just fun.. arent they?
My answers in no particular order:
He leaves his penis lodged inside the queen while the rest of his body explodes
There's no risk associated with oral sex
Twat
White mice
schizotypal fat bastard
Males will watch The Three Stooges.
#2. To: Jethro Tull (#1)
Clownfish
He leaves his penis lodged inside the queen while the rest of his body explodes
There's no risk associated with oral sex
Twat
White mice
schizotypal fat bastard
Males will watch The Three Stooges.
#3. To: Zipporah (#0)
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless
Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young
Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink
M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up
Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
#4. To: Zipporah, Dakmar, Lodwick, christine, all (#2)
#5. To: Zipporah (#0)
What do you know about sex?
#6. To: Zipporah (#3)
#7. To: Jethro Tull (#4)
Dork! :)
#8. To: Dakmar (#7)
#9. To: Dakmar (#7)
Jesus. Forty years of drugs kind of slows down the performance.
#10. To: Dakmar (#6)
Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk (You're pretty when I'm drunk)
#11. To: BTP Holdings (#5)
I don't ever get any so why would it matter?
#12. To: lodwick (#9)
#13. To: Dakmar (#12)
Great!
#14. To: Jethro Tull (#8)
#15. To: Sam Houston, Dakmar, all those who lived thru the 60s (#14)
#16. To: Jethro Tull, Zipporah, christine, Diana, rowdee, robin, ruthie (#4)
#17. To: Zipporah (#0)
#18. To: HOUNDDAWG, Zipporah, christine, Diana, rowdee, robin, ruthie, BTP Holdings,Dakmar, IndieTX, lodwick, all (#16)
Old is fun except when you pee yourself...
#19. To: Jethro Tull (#18)
Nice blast from the past. Thanks.
#20. To: BTP Holdings (#5)
#21. To: Jethro Tull (#18)
Old is fun except when you pee yourself...
#22. To: lodwick (#13)
#23. To: HOUNDDAWG, J T (#16)
#24. To: who knows what evil (#17)
#25. To: Jethro Tull (#18)
#26. To: rowdee (#25)
and why doncha look where ya pee!
#27. To: Jethro Tull (#26)
#28. To: rowdee (#24)
Yeah.......right.....out of 300,000,000 million people, we have 30,000,000 queers!
#29. To: Sam Houston (#28)
#30. To: who knows what evil (#17)
The Charlotte Observer published this??? The Baptists are going to have a coronary. As for these thirteen questions? Who cares? (Although the 'Brokeback Mountain' one was kind of funny.)
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