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Title: Women In The Future May Produce Sperm
Source: www.americanchronicle.com
URL Source: http://www.americanchronicle.com/ar ... iewArticle.asp?articleID=11394
Published: Jul 11, 2006
Author: Robert Paul Reyes
Post Date: 2006-07-11 20:10:23 by Mind_Virus
Keywords: None
Views: 254
Comments: 15

Women In The Future May Produce Sperm

Robert Paul Reyes July 11, 2006

Some extreme elements of the women's movement argue that men are superfluous. Men always smugly answered, "Right, and who's going to mow your lawn, check your oil, and not to mention impregnate you?"

A new scientific breakthrough may indeed make guys as obsolete as a Betamax, females in the future may be able to produce sperm.

Evil scientists in England have turned stem cells from an embryo into sperm which are capable of producing offspring.

The satanic experiment used embryo cells to produce seven baby mice, six of whom lived into adulthood, although the survivors suffered adverse events.

Contrary to popular belief, this feat has never been accomplished by Bulgarian women weightlifters.

The only good news for men is that this advance can help men with certain types of infertility to become fertile .

This revolting development has me feeling more like a mouse than a man, if my girlfriend figures out how to program the DVR, I will become totally irrelevant.

Not even a mega-dose of Viagra can restore my confidence and vigor, it looks like the male appendage will soon be totally useless. Men in the future may become nothing more than a sex toy that doesn't require a battery.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 13.

#1. To: Mind_Virus (#0)

Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.

YertleTurtle  posted on  2006-07-11   20:12:08 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: YertleTurtle (#1)

Or until something heavy needed to be lifted, or a jar of something needed to be opened. Don't even get me started on spiders, snakes, and icky things.

I'm telling you, a world without men for a lot of women would be a scary, and lonely place.

TommyTheMadArtist  posted on  2006-07-11   21:07:26 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: TommyTheMadArtist (#2)

Or until something heavy needed to be lifted, or a jar of something needed to be opened. Don't even get me started on spiders, snakes, and icky things.

I'm telling you, a world without men for a lot of women would be a scary, and lonely place.

I second that, Tommy. My boyfriend is He-Whom-Spiders-Fear. Whenever I see one I usually start squealing before I throw the nearest book or pan at the wall. It's amazing how high I can jump in the presence of large insects.

mehitable  posted on  2006-07-12   0:24:47 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#10. To: mehitable (#7)

My boyfriend is He-Whom-Spiders-Fear. Whenever I see one I usually start squealing before I throw the nearest book or pan at the wall. It's amazing how high I can jump in the presence of large insects.

My girlfriend puts glasses upside down on spiders and doesn't take them off for a week. Cicadas? She pulls a hood over her head and waves a flyswatter in front of her face while running to the house while screaming in her cellphone which is attached to my ear. "Of God! There's one!! There's another!!!"

YertleTurtle  posted on  2006-07-12   6:29:00 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#11. To: YertleTurtle (#10)

My girlfriend puts glasses upside down on spiders and doesn't take them off for a week.

Does that work? I may try that when he's not around. I tell ya - spiders absolutely terrify me. Other bugs are creepy or gross, but there's just something horrible about spiders.

mehitable  posted on  2006-07-13   10:13:39 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#12. To: mehitable (#11)

Does that work? I may try that when he's not around.

Yes, it works. All that's left is a shriveled-up dead spider.

If I was cruel and sadistic I'll tell you to go to Google Images and type in "Brown Recluse" because pictures of some of the wounds would come up.

Since I'm not cruel and sadistic I won't do that.

YertleTurtle  posted on  2006-07-13   11:17:09 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#13. To: YertleTurtle (#12)

I've already seen those, Turtle...it's part of my nightmare. I had a boss whose wife nearly lost an arm to one of those bites. Yech.

mehitable  posted on  2006-07-13   12:24:07 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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