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Title: QUIZ: Should you worship God at the Kingdom Hall with Jehovah's Witnesses?
Source:
The Bentinel
URL Source: http://www.thebentinel.com/jw-quiz.php
Published: Apr 5, 2005
Author: unlisted
Post Date: 2005-04-05 08:24:40 by 2Trievers
Keywords: Witnesses?, Jehovahs, worship
Views: 532
Comments: 41
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 33.
#3. To: 2Trievers (#0)
20%!! I was hoping for something lower. The JH church is very nearly a cult. Definitely suited to weak minded followers.
i shoulda scored like mirage did. i don't know where i effed up on that quiz. :P
I have the highest score so far....and I'm an atheist. :)
"Compound in Guyana" wasn't a choice so I stopped taking the quiz.
Several of the questions didn't have answers I thought appropriate. When selecting religious leaders I always try to find the one with the coolest car. There's nothing quite so special as trawling for tramps with someone well versed in mind control.
You'll make a great Catholic. BTW Now is the time to get in, they're looking for a new boss and everybody is moving up fast.
Breaking ... George W. Bush Bought Popemobile on eBay WASHINGTON - The White House revealed this morning that President George W. Bush had purchased the Popemobile during a late night Web browsing session with his twin daughters, Jenna and Barbara, the weekend before Pope John Paul II died. According to the White House statement, the president was intrigued with the following item: “Late model, mother-of-pearl M-430 Mercedes-Benz. Automatic, AC, PW, PS, PB, power bed pan, tinted windows, 10-disc CD player, and bullet-proof solarium. Low mileage, garaged, owned by elderly gentleman who only used it to go to church on Sunday.” “Dad was looking for something to surprise Mom with when she got back from her fruitcake mission to Afghanistan,” said daughter Jenna, the blond, bouncy one who wants to be a school teacher. “We didn’t know it was the Popemobile, though, until we e-mailed the seller to ask what a solarium was.” After receiving an automated reply in sixteen languages from jp2@thevatican.it, Bush phoned Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who had just emerged from her nightly session in her hyperbaric chamber. “Connie told Dad, ‘It’s the pope, you moron,’” said daughter Barbara, the dark-haired one who wants to be Rosalynn Carter. “There was only half an hour left until the auction closed,” said Jenna, “so we knew there wasn’t enough time to teach Dad how the bidding worked. We just mashed the ‘Buy Now’ button, and as Dad would say, mission accomplished.” Sources close to eBay revealed that high bidders at the time the president made his winning bid were swiftjfk@heinz57.com, kidsrideforfree@neverland.org, and dick@secretbunker.gov. An official from the White House motor pool said he expects the Popemobile to arrive at Andrews Air Force Base on Tuesday. Former Secretary of State Colin Powell, who is now an in-demand political consultant, will be there to greet the vehicle. After Powell has washed and waxed the Popemobile, he will drive it to the White House. “Dad can’t wait to see the car,” said Barbara. “I bet he keeps it for himself. He told us he was going to change its name to the Bushmobile because that’s what he called his first car in high school.” In related news, the Vatican has announced that Time-Warner Records would release the Most Beloved Encyclicals of John Paul II, read by Mel Gibson with musical arrangements by Zamfir.
I see Colin has been promoted .
Any of youse guys who took the test should get a free memebership in the JWPP ... dedicated to protecting the doorbells of the innocent.
I think Dak should start a church. We could call it "Dakmar's Witnesses Incorporated" or DWI for short. We'll spend our time chasing Jehovah's Witnesses around on our motorcycles, until we're either raptured or paid off.
#35. To: Flintlock (#33)
Will you let me pass out the candy canes, huh? Huh? ABOVE: Kimberly Flemmel Mourns Her Excommunication From The Jehovah's Witness Congregation After Eating A Candy Cane
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/LatestYou are 20% Jehovah's Witness! You have some serious changes to make before you can be baptized as a Jehovah's Witness. Your attitude will likely get you labeled as a rebel. Parents will not encourage their children to hang around you or your children, unless there is reason to believe they can help you become a better Jehovah's Witness. It is unlikely that you will ever really fit in at the Kingdom Hall.
#10. To: duckhunter, mirage, Dakmar (#3)
#11. To: christine (#10)
#16. To: Dakmar (#11)
What is the most important quality you look for in a church leader?
o Honesty, Integrity
o Charisma
o Bible knowledge
o Non-polygamist
#17. To: Flintlock (#16)
#18. To: Dakmar (#17)
I always try to find the one with the coolest car.
#26. To: Flintlock (#18)
By Chip Hilton
#27. To: 2Trievers (#26)
After Powell has washed and waxed the Popemobile, he will drive it to the White House.
#28. To: duckhunter, wakeup, Dakmar, mirage, CWRWinger, christine, Flintlock, Mr Nuke Buzzcut (#27)
#33. To: 2Trievers, Dakmar, Christine (#28)
Replies to Comment # 33. 
End Trace Mode for Comment # 33.