Thank you Ex-wife:
Thank you for being stupid enough to let go of your former husband. My life has become so complete because of the time we spend together. I honestly cannot believe any woman could have been foolish enough to let him go. Enjoy your miserable life, I'm enjoying him now.
Your ex-husband's newest girlfriend.
Condolences to ex's parent's:
Was so sorry to hear that your daughter's recent actions showed the low limits of her genetic makeup to the entire world. How unfortunate it must be for you to have to acknowledge that abortion could have improved the gene pool so significantly.
Thinking of you to ex's sibling:
Was looking at what a mess your sister has created with her life and it made me think how truly alike sisters can be. Enjoy your greedy, hateful existance together.
Professional Recommendation for ex's boyfriend
Sorry to hear of your bad luck. Once you realize what an inadequate replacement you are for her husband, may I recommend Dr. P.S. YSCH to help you deal with your devestated male ego.
Apology to current neighbors:
As you no doubt witnessed, the anti-wife has finally moved in with her boyfriend; yes, he's the one who moved all the furniture out of my home who looked old enough to be our son. Sorry the yard has gone unmowed; the papers piling up in the driveway; the flowers untrimmed. I've been having way too much fun recently to bother with your petty suburbia shit.
Apology to her current neighbors:
My deepest apology for contaminating your wonderful neighborhood with the presence of my former wife and her child boytoy. It must be difficult to explain to your children who see them together, not to mention the questions of "Mommy, what's a whore?"
Congratulations to self:
Congratulations on your new found freedom. Enjoy your new life. You've earned it.
Poster Comment:
here's to you :P