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All is Vanity
See other All is Vanity Articles

Title: August 22. Today is the End of the World. So whatcha doing?
Source: Mehitable
URL Source: [None]
Published: Aug 22, 2006
Author: Mehitable Storm
Post Date: 2006-08-22 12:09:06 by mehitable
Keywords: None
Views: 2291
Comments: 62

So, as we've been told by repeated articles and blathering over the past few weeks, apparently today could well be....The End of the World. I'm wondering how ya'll are gonna spend this Last Day? Planning anything special? Any going away parties? Barbecues? I'm just sitting here working as usual - well...somewhat...and wondering if I'll have to pay rent next week, or if I really should get that hotel room for the Memorial Day weekend.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 32.

#20. To: mehitable (#0)

First I'm gonna bother everybody I meet....and then I'll probably go home and get drunk.

orangedog  posted on  2006-08-22   21:03:28 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#23. To: orangedog (#20)

First I'm gonna bother everybody I meet....and then I'll probably go home and get drunk.

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST FUCKING POST THAT!!!! OMG!!!

Tippy Turtle. Oh my freakin gawd! I thought I was the only guy who remembered that.

Rabble Rouser  posted on  2006-08-22   21:38:51 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#28. To: Rabble Rouser (#23)

Tippy Turtle. Oh my freakin gawd! I thought I was the only guy who remembered that.

"I just figured out a new way to really bug people.....hehehehe!"

The musical greeting card trick was a riot when I pulled it in high school.

orangedog  posted on  2006-08-22   22:09:13 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#32. To: orangedog (#28)

I went to the post office today to sign for a certified letter from the IRS. Actually two of them.

Anyway, I got to thinking, if I mail enough helium baloons, my postal fees should add up to enough money to cover what the IRS thinks I owe. It's gonna take a lot of ballons but at least now I have a plan!

Rabble Rouser  posted on  2006-08-22   22:15:56 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 32.

#37. To: Rabble Rouser (#32)

And if you get bored in the mean time you can always go into a bank, take a withdraw slip, write "This is a stick up!" on the back, put it back on top of the stack and wait for the next fool to come along and use it.

orangedog  posted on  2006-08-22 22:23:48 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#43. To: Rabble Rouser (#32)

Anyway, I got to thinking, if I mail enough helium baloons, my postal fees should add up to enough money to cover what the IRS thinks I owe. It's gonna take a lot of ballons but at least now I have a plan!

We're on a roll now!



Tippi Turtle



Jingle: "Hey, Tippi Turtle, coming down the street
Tell us what you're gonna do!"


Tippi Turtle: "First, I'm gonna bother everybody I meet
Then, I'll probably go home and get drunk."

Jingle: Hey, Tippi Turtle!
Hey, hey, Tippi Turtle!"


[ Tippi Turtle walks down the street ]

Tippi Turtle: Hi, everybody! Well, enough small talk - we've got people to annoy! Today, we're gonna bother these guys - the hammerheads at the U.S. Post Office. Hee hee hee! Now, pay attention.

[ Tippi demonstrates in his home workshop ]

Get some real thin balsa wood, and glue it together like this. See? You make a little box! Then, you take a helium balloon and you put it inside like this. Then, wrap it up and address it! Take it downtown.

[ show Tippi Turtle standing in line at the Post Office ]

Hee hee hee! This is gonna be great! [ jumps excitedly ]

Postal Employee: Next.

Tippi Turtle: Yes. Good afternoon, Mr. United States Post Office Man. Now, you charge according to weight, is that correct?

Postal Employee: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just put it on the scale.

Tippi Turtle: Okee-dokee! [ places his box on the scale, but it floats upward ] Looks like you owe me some money, hammerhead!

Postal Employee: [ grabs box from midair, places it down again ] I don't know.. [ box floats away again ]

Tippi Turtle: [ bangs counter ] Are you gonna pay up, or not? I want my money! Fair is fair! [ leans close to the camera to whisper to the audience ] Be real obnoxious. Keep demanding money. Bother as many people as you can! [ leans back into the cartoon ] I want my money! Fair is fair!

[ a fight ensues, Tippi casually walks away ]

Tippi Turtle: Hee hee hee! Now, that's entertainment! Goodbye, everybody! See you next time!

Jingle: "Hey, Tippi Turtle!"

[ fade to black ]


SNL Transcripts

orangedog  posted on  2006-08-22 22:45:32 ET  (4 images) Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 32.

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