See other Editorial Articles
Title: President to Announce Rumsfeld Resignation
Source:
[None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Sep 9, 2006
Author: Fi_10-Gale
Post Date: 2006-09-09 13:43:44 by FI_10-Gale
Keywords: humor, 9/11, fear
Views: 172
Comments: 6
The President of these United States has requested air time on 9/ll. White House Press Secretary Tony "snow job" Snow has indicated that this will not be a political speach, that the President's only purpose for the speach will be to reflect back on what 9/11 has meant to him. The four major networks have granted him the privilege to contaminate our airwaves with distortion and obfuscation at 9 PM eastern time. Be assured that in the speech will be an attempt to instill fear in us. With the expected installation of fear of further attacks will be the insinuation that if republicans lose their majority in the house in the upcoming elections more attacks will occur because the Democrats are weak on defense. He will also tell us about all the wonderful expensive toys he has bought to keep us safe thus justifying his piladge of the treasury. Toys like the NSA's grand snoop computer system which listens to all our electronic communications. He'll come right out and tell us how the system is keeping us safe from "ter'ists," without a hint of the illegality of snooping on our private lives. He may even mention his "star wars" missile program which just completed a "successful" test by intercepting a missile. What he won't say is that it was launched from a known place at a known time and had a homing device so the interceptor missile could find it. He'll reflect back on the creation of the super efficient Department of Motherland Security and the Transportation Safety Authority. This (TSA) department has saved thousands of passengers the indignity of getting a strangers fingernail clippings on them. The Department of Motherland Security has also made sure that tens of people affected by hurricane Katrina last year are no longer homeless. As he reflects back to what 9/11 has meant to him he won't talk about all the great things he has done to reimburse his party political contributor's. He is a bible scholar and of course with his delusions of grandeur must return the "tithed" money "ten-fold. It's not only expected from a Diety such as himself it is the "politically correct" thing to do with the Republicans in charge of the nation. He won't tell us his plan to create more fear later down the road for "we the people" when he brings forth his plan of "Social Insecurity" reform. He also won't mention the hardships his Vice President has had to endure because of 9/11. Having all that extra money to spend or invest in his portfolio with the increased value of his stock options is hard work. At least he can make sure his lesbian daughter is as comfortable as possible while the Republican party promotes their wonderful family values while promogating hate of gays and lesbians. He'll tell us how wonderful things are going in Afghanistan as we are tramping the Taliban to non existence and the number of Al-Queida members are dwindling. He won't tell us that they've moved into Pakistan (our war on terror ally) or that the poppy crop has been very good this year and good quality Afghani heroin prices may be falling this year because of the bumper crop. It's got to be hard work being the President in these troublesome times. I wonder how sleeps at night with all the caos in the world. Judging from the intelligence I feel he has I'd think he sleeps his IQ...like a rock. Oh, and by the way, Just kidding about the Rumsfeld thing. I have a dream! - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King That's my opinion! What's yours?
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
#1. To: FI_10-Gale (#0)
I'm going to wait and catch it on the Tube.
Since there is not an edit function for me...I'll offer this correction. It's got to be hard work being the President in these troublesome times. I wonder how he sleeps at night with all the chaos in the world. Judging from the intelligence I feel he has I'd think he sleeps his IQ...like a rock.
You should be able to use the "edit" button at the lower right, bottom line, in red, of your original post...no?
ok, we've got your checklist. Monday night we'll see how many you got right. ;)
All wrong... Bush will announce that he is going into exile in Mexico.
Well done.
#2. To: FI_10-Gale (#0)
It's got to be hard work being the President in these troublesome times. I wonder how sleeps at night with all the caos in the world. Judging from the intelligence I feel he has I'd think he sleeps his IQ...like a rock.
#3. To: FI_10-Gale (#2)
#4. To: FI_10-Gale (#2)
On the same line as your name.
#5. To: FI_10-Gale (#0)
The President of these United States has requested air time on 9/ll.
#6. To: FI_10-Gale (#0)
Oh, and by the way, Just kidding about the Rumsfeld thing.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest