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All is Vanity See other All is Vanity Articles Title: Election 2008? Spare me already. We are turning the corner into 2007 in a couple of months and that means we will soon be inundated with an ever increasing volume of media pap about our empty ritualized Presidential elections, the goal of which is to get us to actually stand in line for 45 minutes one day in November 2008 and cast a statistically meaningless ballot for either one of two Beltway putupjob insiders with nary a real difference between them. I barely participated in those threads during the last election and I have no intention of doing so this time around either. I thought I would save some time though for the rest of you and give you a summary of “election” and all the “issues” that our media will create around it and that we are supposed to care about. For purposes of this article I am just going to assume that Hillary will be the Dem candidate and McCain will be the GOP candidate. I could be wrong- but it really doesn’t matter who the nominees are. They will be fully vetted DC insiders and made members of the Beltway mob. The primaries will be the usual boring affairs with the staged excitement for the GOP being around the immigration issue. The anti immigration vote will be split among a field of 3 or 4 putupjobs and thus nullified. The issue will not feature much past the Republican primary as McCain gets the nod. The anti immigration candidates will be obvious putupjobs as they will barely have any money and they will barely make a pretense at running. Among the Dems- the antiwar vote will be split among similar putupjobs and pro war Hillary will get the nomination. The Iowa Caucus will determine the “winner” for all intent and purpose. What can we expect the campaign to look like? What will the “issues” be? Here are a few: “Independent groups” will spread ads and rumors about Hillary being either a rug muncher back in Wellesley College or a communist who met with the KGB in Moscow or both. This will be a low level third tier wing nutter media campaign in which they will bitch about the MSM not covering their “facts” because of its “liberal bias”. “Independent groups” will spread rumors about McCain’s POW experience in Viet Nam. This will be the reverse SWIFT BOAT “issue”. GOPERS will feign shock that the DEMS are daring to question a veteran and DEMS will insist on the need for the “truth” to come out. Hillary’s old scandals will resurface from time to time like the Cattle Futures. Whisper Campaigns about McCain’s bad temper and even sanity will be floated. A major “issue” will be the media itself- as it once again “debates” its coverage and pretends to flog itself. We have heard this a million times. There will be some talk about the Green Party taking away votes from the Dems and the recriminations from liberals begging their base to not vote for Nader- another putupjob. The debates will feature . . . boredom- as Hillary and McCain trade pre- written one liners about minute differences over the latest Mega Bills on education and health care before congress and attempt to make us believe that this or that tiny tax cut for this or that income level is some earth shattering world changing “issue” that we have to care about. The media will then analyze the debates looking to see who smirked out of place or had the wrong demeanor at the wrong time and pronounce the winner. Hillary will say she can do better on the war in Iraq- while McCain will say he can do better than her. The reichwing media will ignore Hillary’s pro war stance and insist she is just a commie who wants to destroy America. The Left wing media will ignore McCain’s big government votes and insist he wants to kill old people on medicare. One of them will win. It doesn’t matter which. So there- a thumbnail sketch of the great “election” to come. I won’t be on those threads much.
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#3. To: Burkeman1 (#0)
Thanks for sparing us the tedium.
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