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Title: Yankees submit to Bonderman, Tigers
Source:
me
URL Source: http://www.me.com
Published: Oct 7, 2006
Author: Me
Post Date: 2006-10-07 20:13:56 by Mekons4
Keywords: None
Views: 444
Comments: 10
Jeremy Bonderman offered each Yankee batter a choice on Saturday: Drop his bat and bend over for a spanking, or Bonderman would throw a baseball at high speed toward them. Yankee after Yankee chose the former option, dropping both cudgel and trou, and receiving a severe thrashing rather than face Bonderman's fearsome fastballs and sliders. Until the third inning, that is, when No. 8 batter Alex Rodriquez, perhaps believing that Bonderman would not follow through on his threat, actually entered the batter's box. Bonderman, a man of his word, immediately hurled a baseball within a foot of Rodgriquez, who immediately dropped his bat and raced to the mound, unbuckling his belt as he ran. A-Rod's pluck was doubly amazing because in the previous frame he had mistaken a baseball that had dropped at his feet for a hand-grenade and had attempted to heave it into the audience. He missed. Bonderman continued his beating of the Yankees for 8 and a third innings, until his arm gave out in exhaustion from raining blows upon the buttocks of the well-paid but talent-deficient Bronxters. A less talented hurler replaced him, and a couple of overpaid minions of "Evil George" Steinbrenner, after confirming that Bonderman was indeed sitting on the bench 100 feet away from the mound, bravely approached the batter's box where one, Jorge Posada, in a moment of luck, actually hit a ball further than the pitcher's mound, accounting for two Yankee runs. However, the next batter, perhaps fearing that Bonderman would lose patience and reenter the game, promptly dribbled a ball to second base, allowing the Bronx Bummers to slink out of town once they were certain the last Tiger fan had left the area and that Bonderman was tied up in ESPN interviews. In Tampa, owner George Steinbrenner showed his displeasure by trading the entire team to the Tokyo Giants, along with enough cash to pay their bloated salaries for six months, for 40 pounds of wagyu beef and a spitoon once utilized by Babe Ruth.
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#1. To: Mekons4 (#0)
This surprises me, after the way the Tigers limped into the playoffs.
Frankly, I was a bit surprised too. But they sure did pick the right week to start eating their Wheaties again. And any day the Yanqi Pigdogs are humiliated is a good day in America. The Foley stuff is just sugar on top.
The Yankees don't bother me as much as the Red Sox, with their la-dee-da Cambridge fans trying to prove they have the common touch by rooting for the Red Sox.
#5. To: MUDDOG (#3)
The most expensive tix in baseball. When I lived near Fenway in the 70s, it was a buck to get into the bleachers, then you could, with a little athletic ability, get into the right field stands, and move your way over to the good seats behind first base. Although I liked watching Dewey Evans play RF so much I usually stayed out in right. Back then, Fenway was all blue collar. Fat guys chomping cigars and chugging Rheingold, one of the worst beers ever.
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#3. To: Mekons4 (#2)
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