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Title: Yankees submit to Bonderman, Tigers
Source:
me
URL Source: http://www.me.com
Published: Oct 7, 2006
Author: Me
Post Date: 2006-10-07 20:13:56 by Mekons4
Keywords: None
Views: 304
Comments: 10
Jeremy Bonderman offered each Yankee batter a choice on Saturday: Drop his bat and bend over for a spanking, or Bonderman would throw a baseball at high speed toward them. Yankee after Yankee chose the former option, dropping both cudgel and trou, and receiving a severe thrashing rather than face Bonderman's fearsome fastballs and sliders. Until the third inning, that is, when No. 8 batter Alex Rodriquez, perhaps believing that Bonderman would not follow through on his threat, actually entered the batter's box. Bonderman, a man of his word, immediately hurled a baseball within a foot of Rodgriquez, who immediately dropped his bat and raced to the mound, unbuckling his belt as he ran. A-Rod's pluck was doubly amazing because in the previous frame he had mistaken a baseball that had dropped at his feet for a hand-grenade and had attempted to heave it into the audience. He missed. Bonderman continued his beating of the Yankees for 8 and a third innings, until his arm gave out in exhaustion from raining blows upon the buttocks of the well-paid but talent-deficient Bronxters. A less talented hurler replaced him, and a couple of overpaid minions of "Evil George" Steinbrenner, after confirming that Bonderman was indeed sitting on the bench 100 feet away from the mound, bravely approached the batter's box where one, Jorge Posada, in a moment of luck, actually hit a ball further than the pitcher's mound, accounting for two Yankee runs. However, the next batter, perhaps fearing that Bonderman would lose patience and reenter the game, promptly dribbled a ball to second base, allowing the Bronx Bummers to slink out of town once they were certain the last Tiger fan had left the area and that Bonderman was tied up in ESPN interviews. In Tampa, owner George Steinbrenner showed his displeasure by trading the entire team to the Tokyo Giants, along with enough cash to pay their bloated salaries for six months, for 40 pounds of wagyu beef and a spitoon once utilized by Babe Ruth.
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#1. To: Mekons4 (#0)
This surprises me, after the way the Tigers limped into the playoffs.
Frankly, I was a bit surprised too. But they sure did pick the right week to start eating their Wheaties again. And any day the Yanqi Pigdogs are humiliated is a good day in America. The Foley stuff is just sugar on top.
The Yankees don't bother me as much as the Red Sox, with their la-dee-da Cambridge fans trying to prove they have the common touch by rooting for the Red Sox.
I'm just dying to hear what Herr Steinbrenner does. Supposedly, Mussina, Sheffield and Wright are history. I'll happily take the first two if George picks up some of the ridiculous salary he dumped on them. They'd look good on the Braves, solve the LF problem and the fifth starter.
The most expensive tix in baseball. When I lived near Fenway in the 70s, it was a buck to get into the bleachers, then you could, with a little athletic ability, get into the right field stands, and move your way over to the good seats behind first base. Although I liked watching Dewey Evans play RF so much I usually stayed out in right. Back then, Fenway was all blue collar. Fat guys chomping cigars and chugging Rheingold, one of the worst beers ever.
Yesterday a coworker who drives up from San Diego, who is originally from St Louis, was wearing a bright red Cardinal T-shirt. He said the Padres have never won a game against the Cardinals. I hope he made it home okay.
They might get by the Padres, but that is as far as they go. As underachievers go, they're up there with the Yanks, Red Sox and ChiSox.
I was listening to ESPN radio last nihgt and they didn't mention their names. However, ARoids will be gone. They said he was causing all kinds of friction in the clubhouse the last few days. They didn'tlook like the Yanks to me. They were swinging at anything, especially first pitches. Late in the game they became more selective and scored a few runs but it was too late. They should get a few good players for ARoids. I won't miss him a bit.
formerly GJones.
Maybe a bag of baseballs and negative $20 million. The Cubs will be buyers, I bet.
I've already said too much.
#2. To: MUDDOG (#1)
#3. To: Mekons4 (#2)
I've already said too much.
#4. To: All (#0)
#5. To: MUDDOG (#3)
#6. To: MUDDOG (#3)
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#7. To: Mekons4 (#0)
#8. To: robin (#7)
#9. To: Mekons4 (#4)
Supposedly, Mussina, Sheffield and Wright are history.
#10. To: InsideJob (#9)
They should get a few good players for ARoids
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