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Editorial
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Title: Voice of the White House 30 October
Source: TBR News
URL Source: http://www.tbrnews.org/Archives/a2556.htm
Published: Oct 31, 2006
Author: Walter Storch
Post Date: 2006-11-01 01:37:55 by Eoghan
Keywords: None
Views: 39

Washington, D.C., October 31, 2006: “ I’m a little late this week because of what I just found out. It seems that a person, or persons, currently unknown, poured molasses into the oil system of several of the Presidential helicopters! It was discovered when a guard noticed traces of the molasses dripping on side of the craft and a through check disclosed that not one but two helicopters had been sabotaged. The molasses would have heated up inside and gummed up the moving parts, causing a crash. Very few staffers are aware of this which, according to the Marine source who told me, must have happened within the past week. I asked several non-government mechanics I know (my car is always having engine trouble) about this and both told me that this is an old trick and guaranteed to freeze up the machinery. Add to this the discovery of a bullet impact mark on one of the heavily bullet-proof windows of the Oval Office. Nothing was noticed for several days and then a man tending the grounds saw it. No one knows when it happened but a week is about the closest anyone can come. They were trying to figure out where the shooter was located but apparently since only one surface was damaged, there was no way to figure this out. If the bullet had penetrated and hit the President or some more important object like a desk, figuring the trajectory would be relatively easy. A Secret Service man told me that Bush has had more serious death threats than any other President since Abraham Lincoln but there is a total blackout on such comments. Obviously, new security measures have to be taken but I have no idea what they are. I do note that there are more anti-aircraft weapons on the White House roof than on the Battleship Iowa!”

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