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Title: What to expect with the new Congress in January [humor]
Source: email
URL Source: [None]
Published: Nov 10, 2006
Author: n/a
Post Date: 2006-11-10 03:46:11 by mirage
Keywords: humor, conversation, starter
Views: 60
Comments: 4

Here is the 25-point manifesto for the new Congress:

1. Mandatory homosexuality
2. Drug-filled condoms in schools
3. Introduce the new Destruction of Marriage Act
4. Border fence replaced with free shuttle buses
5. Osama Bin Laden to be Secretary of State
6. Withdraw from Iraq, apologize, reinstate Hussein
7. English language banned from all Federal buildings
8. Math classes replaced by encounter groups
9. All taxes to be tripled
10. All fortunes over $250,000 to be confiscated
11. On-demand welfare
12. Tofurkey to be named official Thanksgiving dish
13. Freeways to be removed, replaced with light rail systems
14. Pledge of Allegiance in schools replaced with morning flag-burning
15. Stem cells allowed to be harvested from any child under the age of 8
16. Comatose people to be ground up and fed to poor
17. Quarterly mandatory abortion lottery
18. God to be mocked roundly
19. Dissolve Executive Branch: reassign responsibilities to UN
20. Jane Fonda to be appointed Secretary of Appeasement
21. Outlaw all firearms: previous owners assigned to anger management therapy
22. Texas returned to Mexico
23. Ban Christmas: replace with Celebrate our Monkey Ancestors Day
24. Carter added to Mount Rushmore
25. Modify USA's motto to "Land of the French and the home of the knave"

Poster Comment:

All kidding aside, what do people expect come January when the new Democrat majority is sworn in?

Figured I'd start this off with some humor that was sent to me via email...

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  

#1. To: mirage (#0)

, what do people expect come January when the new Democrat majority is sworn in?

Expect????

We have people here that have been with us demanding Bush be impeached for a long time. They have been passing themselves off as Americans.

Now impeachment is avaiable and the new people have guaranteed Bush and friends a pass.

What are our friends here on the forum saying now about impeachment???

Makes one want to laugh, they agree with new Government that they want to heal the country, make nice with everyone, play la de da around the Maypole.

Fair weather Americans, partisan politics as usual. They are the sheep.

Cynicom  posted on  2006-11-10   3:56:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

2. Drug-filled condoms in schools

There are a lot of good ones that could be added.

Such as...

Teacher/student sex is legal if performed in the classroom during regular school hours.

Cynicom  posted on  2006-11-10   4:02:06 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

26. All bullets, Rockets, and Bombs issued to US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan will be marked "The entry wound means we love you."

27. The EU will suddenly love us again and graitfuly join us on another adventure to blow the piss out of nations much weaker than NATO. Yes, Iran. I'm looking at you.

"The more I see of life, the less I fear death" - Me.

Pissed Off Janitor  posted on  2006-11-10   4:41:43 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

All kidding aside, what do people expect come January when the new Democrat majority is sworn in?

The management team has changed, not the ownership. The agenda will play out as the owners see fit, only the "actors" will be refreshed.

Look, we're being manipulated to think we have a voice in deciding our future. If we have any voice it should be more appropriately described as a "faint whisper" more akin to a last gasping dying breath.

This isn't the democrat's first opportunity to administer government. They've been around a hundred years, and whenever an elitist agenda item is up for decision, they and enough of their opposition party colleagues pass it and the puppet President signs it. NAFTA and GATT were both huge invasive and violative laws that had both parties scrambling to give American jobs away and invite the unemployed from Mexico.

No one can make any rational sense out of this concept of driving out American production and employment while at the same time inviting the unemployed, the uneducated and non english speaking masses from another country into America.

Voting in the Democrats, voting in the Republicans, are both tanamount to voting in Alfred E. Newman, who's favorite expression was "what me worry" !!!

If we really want a change, and I think we do, it is us that must change. Think about it for a moment. The Republicans were blown out big time ... but we still have the various Patriot Acts, the NAU forming, Wars and rumors of War, stifling taxation, a Four Star General Command over America (Military Police State), frisking, fingering and fumbling at every Airport, some schools, all federal buildings, no child's behind left, no answers regarding 9-11, no indictments or Impeachment expected, queers virtually stuffed in every D.C. closet to the point of over-flowing into the press, hypocrisy rules the day and we have allowed it. No, we might get miffed when the scoundrels steal a little from us, ya know, it's always been this way" ... but these bastards, and I do mean both parties, are serving a cabal of death worshipping international elitist bankers made up of the old Monarchs of Europe and the Jew Bankers that they sleep with, literally. Honesty is, was, and always will be the best policy, starting with honest money. As long as we allow the Federal Reserve System to operate in this country there is absolutely no hope for bettering our situation.

Simply put, the Fed allows murderers to finance their wars at our grand-kids expense. Every time we use their "credit" system to finance ourselves we plant a land mine in some foreign country. We "are" the problem because we have become decadent, self-serving, lazy, apathetic, immoral, and criminals against humanity at large, an anti-social disease. All of this simply to gorge ourselves on everyone elses cake and eat it to.

I think the hardest thing to get across to others is that these scumbags can't get their agenda through without our participation.

Freedom to Fascism is an excellent primer for those questioning the validity of my assertion that the Fed is at the bottom of the entire problem, without determining other influences that initiate religious or political arguments. It can even be viewed for free on Google, "tell a friend" !

The Fed has been robbing us since 1913 in violation of Constitutional prohibitions against its operation. Neither the Dems or Reps have stopped it, no they have condoned its existence with only a rare objection from the peanut gallery we call congress. We're the lucky ones though because they use what they steal from us to kill millions of others not so fortunate. [They kill many of us as well, but it's not so blatant.]

All kidding aside, what do people expect come January when the new Democrat majority is sworn in?

Snow, lower temperatures, and Santa Claus ... which is far more likely than any improvement in D.C. [Hard core communism or hard core fascism or a miserable blend of the two. It's your choice ... Vote (snicker) !

"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. When you give up that force, you are ruined."

Patrick Henry

noone222  posted on  2006-11-10   5:09:34 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  

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